Two Faces, by Cassandra Brubaker

  Tanner picked me up in his new used car. He had slick navy blue jeans on, with a black tee-shirt. A smile spreads across my face along with a deep scarlet flush. He smiles at me as I open the door.

  I slide into the passenger seat, buckling the seatbelt when he says, “Hey beautiful.” His hands pull my face towards his for a kiss.

  “Tanner, no…” my mouth mumbles against his.

  “Just let me take you out tonight, please.” His eyes search mine, and I find myself nodding in agreement. He pulls out of my driveway, his meaty boy hands grasping the gear shift, and shaking it. I stop myself. I’m making my emotions swell erratically by watching him. Why me, Why does he like me out of all people? Why am I feeling eerie? This can’t be right, my mind wants to stop and rationalize it all out. He is not a superhero here to save me. This isn’t a romance movie. Yet I want to feel wanted; even if it’s false.

  He takes us down to the park by the beach, His hand grasping mine as soon as I’m out of the door, dragging me to the concession stand. I desperately tug the hem of my thin floral dress down. The lengths of my exposed legs, making me feel self-conscious.

  Fixing the belt at my waist, Tanner tugs on a piece of my hair to get my attention. “What would you like?” he asks.

  Not to be in public where people are obviously starring at us? “Uhm, a Slush Puppy?”

  “What flavor?” The either rather nice or extremely oblivious girl behind the counter asks me.

  “The blue?” Not like I’d really know. She directs her attention on Tanner, batting her eyelashes like every other girl normally does. Just looking like a deer caught in the headlights to me personally.

  Hours passed. We spent the time walking along the beach, others would walk by and talk to us and Tanner would introduce me. It was wonderful; walking along the beach talking about nothing in particular. Then he starts talking about a party, how he wants to go, and to take me with him. At the time, I didn’t really think much of it. Okay? A party, Sure. As we arrive though, that’s a whole different story. He grabbed the first alcoholic beverage offered, and I knew this was a bad situation. Although I mistook it for sheer nervousness, it makes sense now. He reaches for a shot glass on the counter and completely downs it. I didn’t even stop to wonder; and how am I getting home now?

  My mind was completely dazzled to be near Tanner. I was intoxicated by the near sight of him. So when he offered me some form of an alcoholic beverage which was too sweet, I did accept it, More than once. I was enjoying his attention, his forms of affection. I was thrilled with the way people acknowledged me, included me, like I was a part of their crowd.  The music was blasting so loud, people pushing and shoving onto what seemed to be the living room floor, dancing bodies bumping against others.  Rhythmically I join in in time to the beat. 

  “Janie?” Tanner has to raise his voice to be heard over the music. He hands me another drink and I move my dancing body closer towards his and I can feel the rumble of his laughter and I smile, the disorientated room shifts more than expected and I stumble. His hand stretches out steadying me and I giggle.

  “Mmmhm?” I mumble, still dancing against his body.

  “Come with me?” Tanner shouts, his hand helping me walk. I could feel the rush, the adrenaline and the pure lack of nervousness. I knew I was slightly intoxicated, even though I never had been before. My glasses were sliding down my face and I was astonished they hadn’t fallen off, unconsciously I reached up to push them back in their familiar place, just to realize Tanner had led me into a bedroom, closing the door he smiles at my already obnoxious grin.