The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

25 | Royals

I continued forcing his arm up his back, resisting the urge to smirk or laugh at the grunts of pain that he was making. I'm not a sadist. I just really like seeing bad people get what they deserve.

Bonus happy points for being the one to give them what they deserve.

"I know that he probably said something really stupid." She started and I resisted the urge to snort. Stupid didn't even cover it. "But breaking arms is a major no. I would love to see it happen, but at the end of the day, you'll probably end up in the principal's office, and trust me that place is gross."

She has a point. You always think she has a point. I've been right about everything ever since she got here too. And more annoying. Still right though.

I made sure to shove Nathaniel really hard into the locker when I let him go. I turned around to look at Kris to see her smirking and miserably failing at trying to hold back a laugh. At that, I had to hold back a smile.

See, I'm not the only one laughing at his pain.

Kris held out her hand to me with a raised eyebrow. I took it in mine loosely but didn't move any closer to her. Nate groaned as he lifted himself up from the lockers and I turned my attention back towards him with a bored stare. He looks like he wants to punch me right now, but hopefully, he'll realize that isn't such a good idea.

After my parents figured out that I was crazy, they stopped letting me watch a lot of television because they thought that it would give me more ideas than I needed about how to hurt people. They wouldn't even let me watch Disney movies which sucked because back then in kindergarten, you were only cool if you knew all of the princesses and songs.

The only song that I knew was "Don't Bite Your Friends" courtesy of my ex-anger management teacher who, ironically, left because I bit her.

The result of all of this was that I ended up getting bullied a lot, and there were a lot of panic and anxiety attacks that were mistaken as temper tantrums.

It also meant that I had to get creative with how I hurt people.

Nathaniel could try and hurt Kris or me right now, but I wouldn't advise it. The only thing that I had in my hands was a pencil, but you'd be amazed at how many times I can stab someone with the same pencil.

Luckily for him, he just glared at Kris and me before walking away from us. It was then that the crowd began to dissipate and that my shaking finally calmed. I think that I felt Kris wrap her arms around me, but my level of dissociation was so high at the moment that I couldn't even tell you whether or not I was walking or sitting down with too much confidence.

I guess that Kris was pulling me along somewhere because things around me were moving but at the same time, I didn't understand how that was possible. I definitely wasn't walking because honestly all I wanted to do was curl into a hole and die. I didn't want to go anywhere except to a nice warm grave where I can use my headstone as a blanket.

There was the sound of a door opening and then I was sitting on a desk. Kris's hands were on both sides of my face, trying to get me to focus on her. I think that physically, my eyes were trained on hers, but I couldn't bring my mind to do the same.

I didn't want to hear the chorus that I chose over Cole earlier, because now I was choosing Kris. Her voice was so much better than the yelling and screaming that was going on in my head right now.

When her lips ghosted over mine, he decided that I could have my brain back. He was heartless and had really loud friends, but he knew that I needed to feel this right now, or he wouldn't have a brain to control every now and then.

"Don't worry Kris," I whispered hoarsely before pressing my lips briefly to hers. She pulled back from me slightly, shock flashing across her face probably because this is the first time that I've acknowledged her in the past ten minutes.

She sighed in relief before brushing her thumbs across my cheeks and moving to sit next to me. I offered her a false smile, and she shook her head, taking my hand in hers.

"I hate when you disappear into your head like that." She whispered and I shot her an amused look.

"It's not like it's my favorite pastime either Kris." It was well on that list of activities that I rather never do again.

She laughed quietly and my heart warmed. That was the only sound better than her voice. Her laugh. Everything in my head goes quiet just to hear that sound for just a few moments.

"Thank you for not breaking Nathaniel's arm. I'm very proud of you."

I deserve the key to the city for not breaking that boy's arm. He is so lucky that Kris walked over when she did and made me consider not breaking his arm. He should be grateful that everyone in my head values her opinion.

I, personally, am all for breaking his arm now and asking for forgiveness later.

"You're welcome," I mumbled, resting my head on her shoulder. I could feel her smiling down on me and then her arm wrapped around my waist.

Her lips brushed against the top of my head. "Cole told me about last night, so I'm surprised by how well you handled this."

I shrugged in response. I'm not surprised that he told Kris. She's probably a better therapist than Tabitha will ever be.

"It was nothing. What did you say earlier? Something about orange not looking good on me?" I joked, looking up at her with a small smile.

She laughed again and the smile on my face grew larger. She noticed this and brought her lips down to meet mine in a simple kiss that made my heart flutter nonetheless.

It used to annoy me how even just the little things that she does make me react the way that I do, but now I don't mind. I accept the reactions, embrace them even. They remind me that I'm human on the days that I need them to.

"Do you want to tell me what he wanted to talk to you about? He left that part out." She asked once she pulled away from me.

"He wants to take you away from you because he's scared that we'll end up like how someone else and I ended up." Which was completely irrational because this is Kris that we're talking about.

Have you really ever met anyone else like her before?

Kris hesitated before speaking up again. "Can you tell me about who he was referring to?"

I expected a panic attack to begin coursing through my veins and shrieks to build up in my throat, but then I remembered that I'm with Kristina and she helped keep the calm.

Still, this is going to be hard because I haven't talked about her since I left there and usually when things are kept quiet for that long it means that they aren't meant to be talked about. Things that haven't been talked about for a long time are also usually really bad.

And in this case, it's an extremely bad thing.