moods / phan

chapter seven

// I love this sm thank you OfficialCastiel ^_^

and moods was ranked like #300 or something like what thank you!! //

dan

When Dan wakes the next morning, his body aches.

Not just a slightly uncomfortable ache, like you would feel if you were exercising a lot the previous day, but the kind of aching and sore you'd be after you got into a fight with a wrestler.

Although Dan is quite tall for his age, Alfie is a lot stronger. Dan may have a couple of inches of height over Alfie but Dan is not one to lift weights or exercise ever. He prefers to curl up into a little bubble of hurt and just lie on the floor emotionally abusing himself.

After his shower, Dan pauses before pulling on his t shirt. He can see some large bruises marking his pale skin, grazes on his palms and the look of disgust on his face. He looks above him where that stupid black line hangs.

This is all your fault, Dan scowls at the line above him, why can't you just be a fucking mood.

The line doesn't reply - as predicted - and Dan sighs, pulling on his shirt before leaving the bathroom. Once his hair dries he runs a straighter through his fringe before grabbing his schoolbag and walking out the door.

On his walk, even the music blasting into his ears, Dan still can contain his anger at the world and mostly himself. He just wants everything to disappear. HE JUST WANTS TO LIVE HIS FUCKING LIFE LIKE EVERY FUCKING OTHER PERSON ON THIS FUCKING WORLD.

It's no ones fault but your own, his mind tells him, you bring this on yourself by being a pathetic, emotionless freak.

Dan bites his lip, kicking loose stones across the concrete [*licks lips*] path. His mind is right, everything is his fault, there's simply no one else to blame. Whatever makes Dan mood-less is entirely himself.

At school, Dan sits alone on a bench, his earphones still in. He's not really looking anywhere, just staring at his shoes and letting the lyrics fill the black hole of his heart.

Dan wishes for the millionth time that his brother is here. Dan would give up his life in a heartbeat for his brother to be alive. Dan's life isn't worth much; he doesn't do any good to this world.

Dan jumps when a hand flicks his left earphone out and a person stands in front of him, blocking out the sunlight. At first, Dan is afraid it's Alfie, back to make his bruises even more painful, but then he sees the sun floating above the person.

"Ph-Phil?" Dan asks, squinting up at the silhouetted person in front of him.

"Hi Dan! Are you okay?" Phil asks, attacking him in a tight hug.

Dan winces when Phil accidentally pushed on some of his bruises during the hug attack but smiles anyway, trying to mask the pain.

"Y-yeah I-I'm o-okay," Dan says.

Yeah, you're definitely okay, his mind laughs at him, totally 100% normal and okay.

Dan tenses but doesn't react. He can't just break down now - Phil would run away, laugh at him, leave him. Dan knows that if Phil left, he'd be alone again. And alone is even more bitter after having company.

"That's good, I'm sorry about Alfie and Chris yesterday, I promise I won't let them hurt you," Phil says, sitting next to Dan.

Well you missed the main show, Dan thinks to himself. Phil shouldn't make promises he can't keep. He can't help it if Alfie and Chris like to take their teenage drama and anger out on Dan. Phil can't be Dan's personal bodyguard - as much as Dan would like that.