Fine, I'll leave (Phanfiction)

Butterflies

<< Phils POV>>

Peaceful, peaceful, peaceful. I can't feel a thing. Soothing. Haha, I wasn't mad, I could never be mad at Dan, no matter what he did.

Whenever I was around him my stomach would clench up and I would get these butterflies in my stomach as if on the best roller coaster ever. My mind would race and I wouldn't be able to think straight; too lost in his hazel eyes, cute smile and large dimples, to care. He could brush his hand past me by accident and a sudden flutter in my stomach would startle me and make me giggle to myself which often resulted in a confused Dan, but even the look of confusion in his eyes were cute. I guess not this time though.

I would be sitting in my room lying down in my bed closing my eyes trying to sleep through the heavy pacing footsteps from Dan's room. Whenever he did that I just wanted to run in his room and jump into his arms, knocking him onto his bed in fits of laughter, grabbing his arm and working my way up to his hand ; slowly intertwining our fingers as I whispered into his ear telling him to go to sleep along with a small giggle with my tongue sticking out to the side. Of course that never happened, instead I would hear him slowly pacing, steps more and more violent, until they turned silent as he seemed to quietly walk into my room trying not to not wake me from what I assumed he thought was me sleeping. He would stand staring down at me for ages cautiously moving around the bed to see my face. I would be able to feel his gaze on me without even opening my eyes, I could feel him cocking head head as he stared at me, almost as if he wanted to say something, but never did.

When I first video chatted to him, I acted strong and confident; but I was so scared. So damn scared.

I didn't want to mess it up, all I wanted was a best friend, someone to laugh with and talk with, Dan seemed exactly that, but more.

The more we talked to each other the more confident we got. I got a different kind of butterflies when I saw his wrist though, the butterflies slowly died, my heart sped up and my stomach sank. We talked about it, for hours. He was nervous at first, but all he wanted to do was talk. I was happy to sit and talk.

He started drifting to sleep late at night as I was talking to him; a smile appeared on my face as I lay my head on my pillow and watched him, drifting off to sleep myself.

God, I hope he's okay.

He's my everything. Without him I would be nothing. I became more confident because of him, even when it seemed the other way around.

I could feel his hands wrap around my cheek, cupping it in his sweaty palms as   tears flowed down his own face landing upon my lower stomach. Sniffles and whimpers escaped his lips along with silent words.

"I'm sorry, I love you... Please say something back to me"

My body relaxed as my mouth squeaked out faint whines and managed the words "I love you to". But it seemed so peaceful, I didn't even feel a slight tingle of pain surge my body.

"Please just say anything" he repeated.

"please, Phil"

"Anything"

"PLEASE" he pleaded within a shout.

A large sigh escaped his lungs.

"I knew you never cared" he exclaimed with almost a dark tone to his voice.

"You won't even speak to me" he spat in almost complete disgust with slight hesitance.

"How careless"