Worlds Apart [ #LoveLetters | | #JustWriteIt || Feb, 2016] #lgbt

Chapter Five

25th August, 2075

My Beautiful Rose,

How are you? Our Little Flower?

I hate asking you this every time I write but it's the only thing I can do for now.

Eight months have passed and our baby is one year old today. She's walking already. Has she said any words yet? Did you throw a party? Or did you do a Daddy – Daughter Day like we planned?

I'm not doing so well. I never thought I'd be missing so much. I never thought I'd have to leave you to do it all alone. You're practically a single parent huh Rose? And I'm the dead beat dad.

Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes?

I'm missing everything aren't I?

I didn't get the bonding time with our baby, would she recognize me as her Daddy?

So many questions I'm asking you even though I know you're just as lost as I am. I miss you both so much that I can't sleep most nights and when I do I dream of you, of us. The life you have with me gone and how it would have been if I wasn't an absent father and husband.

I failed you didn't I? All those plans we made as a couple, as a family, as parents.

I know you won't ever be resentful towards me for leaving you both and that's one of the things I love about you.

Your beautiful heart.

That precious thing you gave to me on our wedding night. The most magical of the many nights you've given to me by gifting me yourself, mind, body and soul.

In some ways I feel like I've neglected you but please know that I'm taking care of your heart the best I can from where I am, worlds away, light years away.

I wish I had told you I love more. I wish I could have expressed with words the way I feel about you when I had the chance.

I hope these letters make up in some way the things I've abandoned.

I'm going crazy as hell baby. God, I miss you both. I miss you baby. I miss you so much. My nights and days are so empty, my arms, my bed. Don't know how much more I can take before I snap. Before I say to hell with all this and go AWOL. You'd probably castrate me huh?

You know I love you, don't you?

Always, always remember that my Rose. Since the first time I laid eyes on you I've loved you, more than myself.

I love you....so ..so much.

I'm going now....

I love you.

Yours,

Khalil

*

Jaylon held a sleeping Meli in his arms tightly and cried.

"oh god, this is so hard" he gasped in between sobs. Would it have been any better, any less painful to not know these things?

To not know his husband, his soul mate was hurting so much? Missing so much? Grieving to be a part of the life they planned together.

But as they say, one down, one to go.

Jaylon still wished he could find who 'they' were because 'they' were making his life a living hell sometimes with their stupid sayings that makes him want to cry and beat the crap out of something at the same time.

"hi baby girl" Jaylon cooed softly at his daughter, even through his tears he managed a smile for her.

"how are you? Had a nice nap?" he fussed a bit over her while he collected himself before feeling stable enough to stand and get a bottle of formula for her.

He sat with her propped up on a pillow while she sucked at the nipple as if she was starving, down to the last drop. Maybe he should change her bottle now since it doesn't seem to hold enough formula for her anymore.

Jaylon gently held the baby up and rubbed her back to help her burp and when she did his entire back felt warm and he closed his eyes while the liquid soaked into the fabric of his jersey.

"child, you know it's bad manners to puke on your daddy" Jaylon grits out. Even though it came from his own baby, puke is still disgusting. Meli started crying and it's because she hates puking and Jaylon felt like crying too because he has to deal with it all alone.

And so he set about putting Meli in her crib with a fresh bottle after cleaning up her mouth and then he ran back into the living room and did carpet cleanup all the while scrunching his nose up at the gooey white stuff.

He showered quickly and burped Meli again before they settled for the night. Jaylon read his husband's letter again before attaching it to the lovely scrap book he found at a thrift store and decorated the spaces around it with stickers and a few hand drawn hearts.

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A/N

Chapter 5 - 827 words

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