Into the Mirror (boyXboy)

Chapter 4

Tyler had run away from home once.

We were around eleven years old and he decided that he was old enough to be independent. He believed that he didn't need to be controlled by my parents anymore. No, he would take a bus to NASA, apply for a job, become an awesome astronaut, and live in the lap of luxury for the rest of his days.

He came back after two hours.

My parents hadn't even known he was gone, but I remember the cold terror I felt when I found his bed empty, his tutor's house empty, everywhere he could possibly be completely devoid of his presence. Obviously, when he came home, I gave him a good thrashing for making me worry so much. Or more like, slapped his arm continuously while yelling unintelligible words. But after that, he broke down crying, saying how he felt so alone in those few hours.

Granted, that wasn't the last time he was determined to run away from home but came back in tears.

This is why when I woke up two weeks after Tyler "moved on" only to find said twin on my bed crying... Well, let's just say the feeling of nostalgia was quite potent.

Blinking a few times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating in a sleep induced limbo, I sighed, sitting up to reach my arms out to him. He sniffled before curling into my chest and with skillful familiarity, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, threading my fingers into his hair. 

"Why the hell are you here, Tyler?" I asked, exasperated. I was slightly irked over the fact that just as I was getting over his death, he came back. But I also couldn't help the elation, seeing as I had yet another chance to see my brother.

He shuddered a bit, burying his cheek into my pectorals. "I-I was... I don't know where I was. It was just very dark and bright at the same time. And... and then I was back here," he explain, a fresh round of sobs wracking his frame. "Andrew, it's so fucking frustrating. I want to go on so badly."

Frowning, I racked my mind for some sort of explanation. "Was the Nick confession thing not sufficient?"

"I'm not sure," he answered, calming down somewhat. "Maybe I have another regret?"

"How would you not know of your own regret?"

He laughed weakly. "I don't know. I'm not the smartest person in the world."

I meagerly shrugged. "Do you want me to talk to Nick?" I felt a little thrill shoot up my spine at the prospect. For these two weeks, I tried to avoid Nick at all costs when I discovered that I wasn't mirroring Tyler's emotions in some sort of weird twin-connection thing; rather, the heart wrenching desire and, dare I say it, romantic fondness was actually my own feelings. And this not only caused my confidence in my sexuality to waver, but also a flood of self loathing at the idea that this person was my brother's first love. That's why whenever Nick approached me, I would tear myself away from him, giving some pathetic excuse before scurrying away. It was tiring and upsetting, especially when I caught the disappointment in Nick's eyes. 

He perked up at the suggestion. "Really? Would you?" He beamed at me. "Ah, I get to see that sexy piece of man again!" He bounded out of the bed, floating excitedly around the room. "I don't know what I did to deserve such a great brother!" Gasping dramatically, he dived towards me and kept his face mere inches from mine. Going cross eyed, my vision was filled with blurry chocolate brown.

"Andrew, dearest brother of mine, can I ask you a huge favor?" he said gravely, still floating gracefully before me. I moved my head back to place his face into focus, raising an eyebrow. "Can I possess you while you have sex with Nick?"

A blush exploded onto my face. Sputtering, I pushed him away from me to give him an incredulous stare. "Really, Tyler? Did you seriously just ask me that?" He nodded carelessly, giggling. "Are you serious?! Tyler! No! I'm not losing my virginity like that!" I screeched indignantly, gaining a headache from the sudden rush of emotions.... The most prominent and disturbing one being: I'd want to have sex with Nick as myself.