Rainbow Pride

Chapter One

My life. My world. It is all changing. I like this person, I like that person. I am a teenager. 14 to be exact. I am in high school. I have a lot of emotions running through my head on a daily basis. Right now I think I like someone, but I know they like someone else. I am starting to have feeling for someone else, but they are dating someone. Why is it that I like all the people that I can't have? My parents have been irritating me lately, and that isn't good. My name is Hazel.

It started when I was 10. These weird feelings. I have been having more often than naught nowadays. I don't think that that is a particularly good sign. These feelings consist of dizziness, feeling faint, and seeing images. Images of wolves running around. The only odd thing about them is that they are rainbow colored. Every one is a different color of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. There is also one that is of all colors. I have been having these visions since fourth grade, and I have no idea what it means, let alone if it means anything at all. I would ask my parents about it, but I don't want them to worry. Actually no, I don't want them to think I am going mental, and send me to a mental hospital. That sounds like something that they would do to me. 

My parents and I are not on the greatest of terms. They don't like the way I have turned out, I guess. I mean what could be wrong with me? My hair is cut short short like a guys. I have a ton of piercings in my lips, tongue, ears, eyebrows, and belly button. I have a few tattoos, placed on my calves, and backside. I am a straight-A distinguished honor roll student. I have not failed a single test in my life. I don't really talk to anyone outside of school. I barely talk to people inside of school. I am what you call a "shy" person. I have this one friend, her name is Joelle. We are the bestest of friends. Other than that, I don't have any idea what is so wrong with me that makes my parents disapprove of me. Oh, did I mention....my hair being of neon blue? I mean, I like both sexes, but that shouldn't matter, right? I don't know, they are strange people.

So anyway, my parents and I aren't on the best of terms, they pissed me off one night. We got into a huge argument, and it ended with me running out of the house screaming. This was in 4th grade, when I was 10 years old. I ran out of the house, my blood boiling. I was so pissed off. I started to run, and I ran and ran and ran forever. I didn't realize I had run so far until I turned around to go back home. It took me hours to get back. When I finally did get back, my parents had gone to bed. They didn't wait up on me. They didn't leave a note saying they did or didn't. That night I had discovered that they didn't care. I wonder why that was. I was a great student, and they should've been proud of me, but of course they weren't. That is the night I stopped caring what they thought of me, and started to live my life being confident and proud of myself. That is the night I stopped trying to impress them, to make them proud. That is the night I started to make myself proud over myself. They don't matter anymore.

The day after I ran out of the house screaming, I felt weird. I didn't  feel right whatsoever.  The feeling that I was going to faint was with me all day long. That feeling sucks. Ever since that day, I would get these bursts of feelings of faintness. I just thought it was no big deal, but that was five years ago, and I still get those random bursts of feeling faint today. It didn't worry me then because I was just 10, and now I am 14. It has been happening for 4 years straight, and have been getting worse. I don't know what to do, or even who to tell. If I tell anyone, there are gonna think I am insane.

I've decided that I don't care anymore. It is probably nothing. Either that or something that is genetic. Either way, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, it's been four year, and I have made some new friends along the way. This one girl is so amazing. I met her at a football game one day. Since then, we've been hanging out at school, and talking. I think I like her, but she likes someone else. I guess that is just my type of person, the ones I cannot have. That irritates me so much, but I guess it is just life.

Oh, that is another thing. I don't think I mentioned it. I must have forgotten to. I may or may not have slight/major anger issues. I get pissed off very easily sometimes. When I am pissed off, there is no knowing what I might do. This.This right here. This not knowing what I can do. Not knowing my own strength pisses me off. It pisses me off more than whatever pissed me off in the first place. I hate not knowing anything, but not knowing my own strength is just kind of pathetic. I wish I could know, and then maybe I would be able to get a control on my anger issues. One day I will not be able to control it at all, and there is a possibility that I might do something that is so out of hand that no one would ever want anything to do with me ever again. That is mainly why I hate not knowing. I might be so strong that I would be able to punch through a wall, or I may be not strong at all that I can't even destroy a feather. I am either strong, or I am weak. I need to know. I need to know how strong I am so I can control myself when I get pissed off. Right now my escape is running away screaming. I've only gotten so pissed off to do that when I was at home, what happens if it happens at school? I can't just run out, and if I did what would happen? I'd get in trouble, most likely interrogated. I don't like answering questions. Like seriously, I don't like explaining myself. Like people don't need to know everything about me. I don't want people to know that there could be something wrong with me. I don't want people to think that there is something wrong with me.