Alone Together (Jalex) EDITING

One more troubled soul.

   I had been laying in my bed for two hours but my eyes remained wide open. I had to get up in four hours but it was as if my brain wanted to torture me. Sure, the things going through my mind were what they always were, except for a certain young boy. It had been two weeks since I talked to him in the store. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. Or was he just an hallucination? Just the product of my mind that wanted to let me know that I wasn't the only one brought down by life? Probably. I wouldn't be surprised.

   Yesterday, my mom called me. I knew I shouldn't have answered but I did. I had a thirty minute long lecture about how I was supposed to be in college so I could go somewhere in life.

   She had made me leave the house because I was too special for her family. I wasn't perfect enough for them, so they got rid of me. Thing was that as soon as I found somewhere to live, I stopped going to college. I didn't agree with the way it worked: forcing thousands of young people to learn things they would never use in their lives, putting them in debt when they were not even sure to get out of it with a degree. After that, I got dozens of jobs, all worse than the one before. Except for this one, but I already pointed out that music was the best thing in my life.

   That was the reason why I ended up alone and disgusted of people.

    A quick look at my alarm clock confirmed that it was late: 3.30am. I decided to simply not give a single fuck and grabbed my guitar. It was the only thing -besides my earphones- which stopped me from thinking about everything. Sometimes I just felt like I could shoot myself in the head because of that bad habit which was to question everything. Strumming kept my hands occupied, and I was only thinking of which chord I could play to make this melody worth listening to. Not that I'd ever play it to anybody, but I needed to know I could do something right for once.

   I was sure to have scared Alex away. The poor guy had done nothing and I was internally laughing at him.

   Most of the time, just by looking at someone, we could tell they were idiots, selfish or anything else. All that Alex showed was a broken soul.

    How could a soul be broken if it wasn't even material? It happened when you were digging too deep in your darkness, when your own demons started to beat you up. They attacked your soul so no one could see how helpless you were. They damaged your mind until you were the one hurting your body. Somehow this was clever because they remained hidden. Their secret was safe if the only visible traces were from your own hand, wasn't it?

   So, a soul -that is immaterial- is broken by immaterial things, making believable that it can be hurt.

    I strummed some more. I needed to chase these thoughts away. I didn't want to go down that path again when I thought I was better.

***

"Jack, can you bring the box on the right in the stock room, please?"

    I didn't have a choice, did I? Getting up, I went where I was asked to go only to be shouted at after ten seconds.

"Jack! Come here!"

"Dammit Jenny! Can't you decide what you want? I swear I'll quit if you can't decide what you want in life!" I picked the box up and carried it to the shop, ready to glare at Jenny with something very close to hatred.

"Excuse me, but this young boy asked if he could talk to a tall black and blond haired man who works here. Considering that except for Rian, you're the only guy here and that people rarely want to talk to you, I thought I could help you make a friend or whatever. But since you..."

"Can you please shut up? Thanks."

    I gave her the box without taking my eyes off Alex. You'll scare him away once again. Ignoring the voice, I stepped closer to him.

"Hi, Jack." He said shyly.

"Well, hello Alex." I tried to smile, but I was frozen.

   He had a huge bruise on his right cheek, one that looked just a few hours old. His gaze wasn't meeting mine, again. I wondered if he had even eaten in weeks, he was so pale, and looked thinner than me, which was quite alarming.

   Jenny gave me a worried look. But I couldn't say anything, I didn't know the boy.

"You asked me to, uh... come tell you about that Foo Fighters CD so I thought I'd do it because you were nice and yeah, so... It was great." Alex said with a sad smile which soon faded away, leaving me looking at a lifeless face. "I've been playing it non-stop for the last two weeks. Thank you, really." With that he started leaving. See, he can't stand you.

"Alex, wait!" He turned and faced me. "Don't you want something else to listen to?" He thought about it for a little while before shaking his head.

"I can't, I don't have any money. And I have to be home soon, so..."

"You can just borrow it? I'm sure Rian won't mind. Plus, it won't be very long if you come with me now."

    Music got me through really tough times. It had always been there when I felt alone and hopeless. Sure I had lost faith in humanity a while ago, but that didn't mean I didn't want to find an exception. When everybody around me were being jerks, the only thing I could turn to was music. I didn't know where I'd be without it.

    Even if it was a sad one, Alex had smiled. It made me want to try and make it happen more often. If music could give me a bit of hope, then it surely could bring a smile to the younger boy's face when he was feeling sad.

"Alright, I won't let you choose, come here." I said grabbing his wrist and going to the punk shelf. "Tell me, what bands do you know?" Alex ran his hand over his wrist as if I had hurt him.

"Green Day and Blink are like gods to me. So are Fall Out Boy. Classics I'd say." He smiled. That was the proof that music had such a influence on people "I know the Foo Fighters, thanks to you. Also, in another genre, Nirvana are pretty amazing. I guess that's all I can come up with." It was my turn to smile like an idiot.

"Do you know that all the bands you mentioned are my favourite ones? I love you already." Did I see him blush? Alex, the guy who didn't even dare to look at me in the eyes, just blushed. "Ever heard of Simple Plan? Their first record is just perfect."

"I think I heard of them somewhere, I can't remember where or anything but, yeah it could be a good choice."

"You won't regret this." I laughed, handing him No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls.

"I was wondering, what are your favourite songs?"

   I'd come to realise that people's favourite songs told a lot about them. And I wanted to know more about Alex. I knew for a fact that he didn't have a great life, and maybe I was still hoping he'd feel just like I do.

"I have to say that FOB's Summer Song is on the podium, along with Green Day's Coming Clean and probably, uh... Good Charlotte's Hold On. But there are so many great songs out there, it's crazy. Jack?"

   Maybe I was frozen, once again. Maybe the songs Alex was listing told the saddest stories which could ever be told. Maybe his sleeve rolled up a little too high when he grabbed the record. Maybe I wasn't so surprised in the end.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Beautiful songs you chose. So, you also know Good Charlotte, who are great too. I love your taste in music!"

"Thank you. What are yours?" He smiled briefly. This smile he felt the need to fake for me made me sick. This was something I couldn't understand. Why pretend to be someone else? Why try to please everybody and be fake?

"There are probably too many but Longview is perfect. So are Come As You Are and Everlong. I guess Dammit is my all time favourite one." Looking down at his phone, he frowned.

"I really have to go. It was nice to see you, and again thank you for this awesome music you advise and let me borrow! See you soon!" With that, Alex ran out of the store, looking scared to death and leaving me breathless.

No, I really didn't expect his soul to be this troubled.