♡Lucky Ones♡ [Completed]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“You don’t get it do you?” it was more of a statement than a question.

“Get what?”

“Ell, we love having you as our main vocalist.”

“But, I feel like Max doesn’t get his fair share of, I don’t know, fame? It’s always the three of us.”

“Ellie, I love just being the drummer. I don’t want as much fame as you guys. I’m fine as it is. And when we get a keyboard player, I won’t be alone. Ellie, we admire how you switch from sounding like Kellin Quinn to screaming your heart out like Jared Warth. We like our set as it is. Though it’s nice to know you actually think about us.” I blush at this statement and quickly flip my hair to hide my face.

“Okay and also, Tonight Alive has been confirmed for the Headline tour. We’ll do a couple cities in the U.S and a city or two in England, one in Australia then we’re home. Also! Our album has been completed. The demo has been sent and the artwork has been printed!  As soon as we go to L.A, we’ll go there to discuss some things, get signed, and then we work on our first music video!” I exclaimed. I’m so excited for what lies ahead of us. the songs on the album includes;

Beautiful Lie

Dark In My Imagination

Life As We Know It

Stuck On You

A Thousand Years

Waiting (C0ver)

Underneath Every Smile (Cover)

Lights (Punk Goes Pop)

Beautiful Lie (Acoustic)

“A video for which song?” Max asks as he pops some candy in his mouth.

“Stuck On You. Since so many people liked it.” They all nodded. “We still don’t know if All Time Low is participating on the tour or not, but of course Of Mice & Men are.”

“Well, band meeting adjourned. Now let’s go to bed.” Max and Ryan got up and left. Leaving me in a very awkward situation. The air was filled with silence, you could cut it with a knife. Miley got up, getting ready to climb the bunk when I called her.

“Miley?” I wasn’t going to sleep in the bunks tonight. I’m going to watch some movies and crash on the living room. Well, not really. I go into the living room, ball myself up in the corner on the floor and cry myself to sleep.

“Yes Ellie.”

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t respond so I took this as my sign to leave. I sit on the couch, not bothering to turn on the television. Instead, images from that night replay in my head. If I wasn’t trying to be a cocky bitch, I would’ve left and probably none of this would ever happen. People are saying that I’m strong to keep smiling, but this is just a fake smile. I’ve used it so much, people believe it’s real. I put my hand to my cheek and I could feel where he hit me at. Suddenly, the air has become very thick. I begin to wheeze.

Oh, God.

I’m having an anxiety attack.

I claw at my chest, grasping for any sort of air to enter my lungs. But it wasn’t my hands clawing at my chest, it was Josh’s. he’s raping me again. I fall to the ground and begin to shake, clawing at any source of help. My hands come in contact with my phone and I dial a random number from my contact list.

~Austin~

I was lying in my bunk, staring at the ceiling trying to get some rest. But my nerves wouldn’t let me. In two days, we would be flying out to L.A and I would watch my best friend get singed to a record label and their career will be taking off. My phone began to vibrate under my pillow. I wonder who would be calling me this late at night.

“Hello?” I heard wheezing in the background. Someone is trying to breathe.

“A-Au-Austin!” the voice croaked. Their breathing became short pants. “Austin!” the voice cried. I voice that I loved dearly.

“Ellie? What’s happening? Are you okay?”

“I can’t-breathe-no-air!”  she can’t breathe? The last time I heard that was when she had her………oh. My. Jesus.

“You’re having an anxiety attack?! Oh lawd! Ellie! Ellie?” the line became very quiet. But I could hear her shallow breathing. “Ellie, listen to my voice princess. When I say go, breathe in, ready go.”

“No-air!” she croaked.

“Princess, there is air just-”

“His hands! He’s raping me again!” she frantically yelled. “No air!”

“Elizabeth!” I snapped in a sturdy tone. “Listen to my voice.” It was quite. “He’s not there. You’re just imaging it. Now listen to me, there is air. You have to find it. Now breathe in.” more pants. “Elizabeth,…..breathe in.” after a couple seconds of silence, I heard the quiet shaky intake of breathe. “Now release.” I heard the shaky breath being released. I did the same actions telling her to breathe for about five minutes when she calmed. It was quite for a while. We were both still on the phone, just listening to each other’s heartbeat. After six or so minutes, I spoke up.

“Why did you call me and not one of your band members?” I asked.

“You understand me better. The last time I had an attack was when-”

“Your father died. David was bomb-shelled drunk, trying to drink away the problem, which only cause you to panic more because-”

“I thought I was gonna lose my brother too.” She finished. Once again the quite overcame us. it wasn’t an awkward silence. It wasn’t because we didn’t know what to say, heck, we have so much we can talk about. We just didn’t want to talk. Our breathing presence was doing most of the talking. I began to hear quite sobs coming from the other end.

“Austin, I’m scared. What if the attacks never stop? What if-what if-”

“Shhhh. Don’t think that way.” I said, while trying to not let her hear my voice crack. Whenever she would cry, I would cry with her. Especially with the death of my……mother. I was a fucking wreck and the only person I allowed to see me cry was Ellie because she understood. To loose someone close to you. Now whenever I hear her cry, I cry too. “You’re never gonna lose me.” I whispered, hoping she didn’t hear me.

“Austin?” the quite voice asked.

“Hmmm?”

“I’m tired.”

“Then get some sleep princess.”

“But I wanna keep talking to you.” And so we did. We did a catch up over the two years. I got to know some habits of hers. Like smoking, the fact that she’s still bulimic and she cuts, the fake smile she pulls through, of course, I knew it was fake, David and his girlfriend. She wanted to know if I was bored of her talking, but I shushed her and told her to finish with her story.

She told me how useless she felt. Everytime she looked in the mirror, she felt ugly, pathetic, empty, alone, worthless, afraid, ignored, betrayed, and so many other horrible things, it broke my heart to know she even thinked of these things. Let alone tell herself that everyday.

She wasn’t the fragile 23 year old I stupidly left. No, she wasn’t even the love struck 21 year old I met four years ago.

No.

She’s a very strong 25 year old who’s been fighting a battle for too long.

Soon enough, I heard soft snores coming from her end of the line, indicating that she fell asleep. but I wanted to hear her breathing, so I fell asleep to, phone on speaker.

I fell asleep to the quite snores from my Ice Princess.

Aw </3 who else is touched by this chapter? Only me? thought so. Anyway, if you guy ever feel like that, i'm here to help. No one should ever feel that way, that's why the author isn't here. She felt those things even thought she didn't need to. No one is allowed to feel that way or kill themselves. So if you ever feel that way, I'm here to help and the author is too. Talking can take a shit load of pressure off, you just don't know it.