The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | o n e

"You can't have it either, Harry," I state. He lets out a disappointed groan. I ignore him.

"I can't believe you, Hayde!" I scold angrily. "Not only did you make breakfast only for yourself, but you're having pop tarts of all things! You know Mom banned them ever since she saw how hyper Harry gets on them."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he protests. "Yeesh. If I knew you were going to act like that I wouldn't have bought them!"

I glare at him.

"Okay, fine. How about I make breakfast for everyone?"

I contemplate it for a second. I didn't really expect him to give in this easily. If he makes breakfast, that means I don't have to.

"Fine." I concede, dropping my glare, "You are forgiven."

"That is such a relief. You know, Harvey, you're death glare is actua—"

"For now," I complete. Can't let him think I'm easy.

"Seriously?"

I grin at him. Call me a tyrant, or slightly power crazy, but it is fun to mess around with the boys, knowing they'll never be able to fully retaliate. No matter how hard they try...

"What was all the shouting about?" Hunter groans as he strolls into the kitchen. "Don't you guys know it's rude to wake up early on Saturdays?"

"It's past ten, Hunter," I reply with a roll of my eyes, not sparing him a second glance.

Besides, I would probably somehow hurt my neck if I tried to look directly up at his freakish 6'4" stature. I don't know how, but Hunter managed to grow an extra couple inches since the last time he came back from college.

"Anyway," I continue, "Hayden here, is making breakfast for everyone."

"Did someone say breakfast? I'm starving," Hollis announces as he trails into the kitchen behind Hunter. He keeps his eyes glued to his laptop as he takes a seat by the kitchen island, making no effort to greet us.

Hunter and I exchange a look. Hunter smoothly snatches away the laptop from our twelve year old brother's hands, while I begin my chiding speech.

"It's way too early for you to be glued to that," I say. "When I was your a—"

"Aaaaand, nobody wants to hear Harvey's old lady rant," Hayden interrupts, jumping off the counter. "What does everybody want to eat?"

"Bacon Pancakes! Making Bacon Pancakes!" Harry sings loudly. My annoyance dissipates long enough for me to share questioning looks with my other siblings.

"What is he singing?" Hayden asks.

"Take some bacon and I'll put it in a pancake."

"I'm guessing he wants bacon pancakes...?" I reply unsurely.

"Bacon Pancakes That's what it's gonna make." Harry continues, unfazed by our confusion.

"What are bacon pancakes?" Hunter replies. "I kinda want one."

"Bacon Pancaaakes!" Harry ends, drawing out the last note.

"It's from Adventure Time," Hollis explains with an eye roll, snatching back his laptop. "He's kind of gotten really into it lately."

Hollis quickly presses a series of keys, searching for what I assume was the Bacon Pancake song. We gather around, watching the video clip from over his shoulder. The familiar yellow animated dog singing the same lyrics Harry had a moment ago.

"I feel so out of it with the kids," Hunter admits, tilting his head to the side as the video automatically replayed.

"You are out of it with the kids. Have you forgotten? You're old now," I tease.

"Says the person who was about to give a 'when I was your age' speech a few moments ago," Hayden snorts.

"Shut up."

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