So now I really want to kickoff a new life. I want to be good. I want to be better. I have learned from my experiences. From now on, I will listen more, and talk less. Big apology from me to you. I don't want to make the 'war' turns the 'hundreds' to 'thousands'. Let it be. I mean what I said from the bottom of my heart. I want to be nice. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was making the wrong decision.
I want to say that I am sorry to the people that I am hurting right now. I am not meaning to, I am truly not. Like I have told some of you, I am dealing with something that not only captures my entire attention, but it is also something that I can't discuss with anyone. Not because I don't want to, or because I don't trust you enough, but because I gave my word that I wouldn't. Besides, speaking about it might just tear me apart. As much as I may try to seem strong, together, and invisible, I am not superwoman and I simply do not have the strength anymore to keep up the appearance of it. I hope you all understand. I am not going through one of my 'phases' where I ignore everybody and hide out in my room. No. I wish it were that, please trust me when I say this. I would give anything for the problem to be that.
Today is the day that I am going to break your heart, even more so than we have already managed to do. I don't know how are you going to react, I don't know how are you going to feel inside, but please know that I am sorry. I truly am. Between us, I have put you through literally everything imaginable. I can see now why you are so disappointed all the time, and today will definitely not make it better.
I apologize on advance. I can only hope that you will understand and forgive, even though I don't know if I deserve these 'second chances' anymore. We are bonded together, forever, by blood and nothing will ever change that. Whatever happens after today, I am on your side no matter what, and that is all matters. I am not claiming to be able to save the day, to be able to make everything right again, but I am claiming that you won't be alone. Ever.
Everything is going to be okay. It is going to take some time to heal, as most wounds do, but it is going to be okay. It is something that I just know. I can feel it.
