Short Stories

Remember

"You know, I still remember the time before I met you. Before my whole life changed completely. It's funny, right? You said to just 'go with the flow' but I said 'it wouldn't work' and then you'd get mad. That side always bugged you, but you knew I couldn't help it. It took me forever to change, forever to trust you, forever to let go, forever to get close, forever this and forever that. You stood by me though, and I was surprised.

"They were always so mean, you were always so nice. They made fun of me everyday, you complimented me everyday. They pushed me around, you picked me up. They bruised me, you healed me. It seemed like whatever they did, you made it better. It was weird, and it scared me at first. Is he tricking me? Is he getting close just to bring me down, like them? Is he like them? Can I trust him? I shouldn't, shouldn't I? Gah, it killed me so much on the inside. I didn't know if you could tell, and I still don't. I guess a part of me wished you could. Then there was myself you saved me from...

"I would constantly say how I terrible I looked, but you always said I was beautiful. I would stress myself out, but you'd always helped me through it. I would doubt myself, but you'd give me reasons of why I shouldn't. I would give up so easily, but you pushed me to keep going. I hated the world, but you showed me the reasons to love it. I hated people, but I didn't hate you.

"We were such opposites now that I think about it. I was negative, hateful, mean, and a bitch; you were positive, helpful, nice, and an angel. I always got detention and into fights; you took the high road and walked away. I couldn't keep my big mouth shut; you never really spoke at all. I struggled through my classes; they came easily to you. Then again, we were also so alike. We both knew things about the world most didn't. We had better understanding of certain things than everyone else. We overthought everything. We were also very scared.

"It's so crazy how we took two different paths from the same circumstances. If I'm being honest, I was so jealous of you. The same fucking path, but everyone loved you. I hated seeing people acknowledge your greatness while I stood back unnoticed. Then I hated myself for being like that because I should've been proud and happy for you. I was just so jealous and I thought if I said something, you would leave.. Because somehow that one thing after everything else I've done would make you leave.

"I'm so sorry I never told you. I'm so sorry I never told you how much I loved you, how much I love you. I'm so sorry I never told you I loved your smile and the dimple on your right cheek. The way your hazel eyes would light up when you talked about something you loved like stars and planets. How your hair was naturally messy but fell into all the right places. How peaceful you looked when you were sleeping and I know that sounds super creepy but damn it I miss you.

"I miss you so much. I miss everything about you: Your looks, your movements, your expressions, how you made me feel, just everything about you from physically to spiritually. And I'll never get to tell you all these things because.. because.. because you're gone. Gone from me. Gone from us. Gone from them. Gone from everyone. And I don't know how long I've been here, but I don't want to leave because I don't want to let you go. I miss you so much, and I love you so much. And I just wish I had told you before you died."