Holding On

Chapter 1: Giving Up

~Jojo's POV~

There was no use in me lying in bed anymore and feeling sorry for the shitty life I had. I was no longer sobbing. The tears were dry upon my cheeks and I felt numb. I had thought about doing it before but I never really thought id have the guts to do it. I felt so alone, and finally felt like there really was no reason to hold on.

I walked to into my bathroom and filled up a cup of water. Looking at myself in the mirror I saw my mascara stained onto my cheeks and the bags under my eyes looked as if I hadn't slept in days.. Which I hadn't. My depression was keeping me up most nights. My dark brown hair fell onto my shoulders making me look even more dead than I already was. It looked dull. I looked empty.

I opened my medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills that had been prescribed to me. This was it, I was finally done. I walked to my bed and sat in the dark with the bottle of pills in my hand and the cup of water on my nightstand. Was I really doing this? I lost the battle id been fighting years to win. It was over. I had given up. I let go.

I opened the pills and took a handful, swallowing them down with the water I had just gotten. Then the tears began once again. They rushed down my cheeks and I began sobbing.

"Is she awake?" I heard my mother say from across the hall. I quickly covered my mouth and tried to hold in my painful sobs

"No she went to bed a couple hours ago" my father responded. I sighed and breathed in relief. If they had walked in and seen what I was doing I don't know what I would say.

I had been in bed all day, and when they entered my room I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't have to talk to them. I didn't want to hear them complain about what a bad daughter I was, or how I was useless.

I quickly downed the rest of the bottle.

I began to cry again. I laid underneath my fluffy white blankets and held onto them. This always gave me some sort of comfort. While I laid alone in my bed, knowing that I wouldn't wake up in the morning, this little piece of comfort was something that I often held onto most nights. I began to feel more tired than I already was from life itself. Thoughts about what would happened after I was dead raced through my mind, but I was too tired to give a damn. I closed my eyes and began drifting off to a deep sleep, one that I wouldn't wake up from.

Authors notes:
Please let me know what you guys think of the beginning!! I hope you guys leave feedback & let me know if you don't like something so I can fix it up. I plan on adding more soon.