The Tale of Red Rocks

Chapter Nine

"I am terribly sorry about last Friday. I was cruel and mean and you had not done anything wrong. Please forgive me for my childish act." Elise sent me a sad smile.

"Of course, I will forgive you, you do not need to apologize," I said even though I really wanted her to apologize again. Just so I could be sure she hadn't meant it, be sure she didn't think I was egoistic.

We were still at Gray Rocks, but I was about to bring her home. My pocket watch told me it was a few minutes past 6 o'clock, so it was about time for Elise to come home. I'd begun to worry what her parents would say if she stayed out with me much longer. And worse, if they would tell my father.

Elise stood up on the rock in the middle and stared at the horizon. The clouds were gathering; the rain would soon begin. She didn't seem to worry about getting wet, but then again, she didn't have to deal with my parents when she got home. Not that Father would care if I were wet, but if Elise caught a cold, he would blame me. The only reason he let me be with Elise these days were because of my promise to Isaac; to keep her safe.

"Have you ever wanted to jump?" she asked me with a smile. She turned around, danced on the rock. I was so scared she would fall, I could barely think of anything else. I stood in front of her in order to catch her in case she fell.

"No." I didn't see any reason to tell her the truth. It was a few days before Isaac left. Father had found something to yell about, so I had left the house. I'd just gone for a walk in the woods when I'd finally found myself standing by Gray Rocks looking down on the river. It had been windy, but the sun had still been shining down on me. And I'd been determined to jump, determined to let go of the pain.

I thought about the sound of Isaac's voice when he'd found me, crying, ready to take the final step. He'd been so calm and yet so panicky, "please don't. I need you here to take care of the house. Come on, let's go home," he'd said at first.

"Why should I even stay? Because you want me to take care of the house for you? I don't want to live for that," I'd said, tears streaming down my face.

"I cannot tell you why to live, but I can ask you to keep trying to find a reason. Please, Brother, you cannot leave me now. I thought it was you and me. This is not the time to leave." He'd come closer, and I'd taken another step further away from him. His words hadn't exactly made me think twice about jumping, I had still been going to do it.

But Isaac had jumped to me and pulled me away from the edge, hit my face with all his strength and held me stuck up against the biggest of the rocks. "Don't you ever even think about going here again! You want to know why Father treats you like he does. Here. Here is your reason; you are weak enough to take the easy way out! Do you think Father is mean? He is simply trying to find the honor in you, and if you don't put yourself together and walk away from here, never looking back, he will never find it and you will end up living in misery for the rest of your life. Did I make myself clear?" Isaac had been yelling, but his voice had as always still been calmer than any other. I'd nodded and I'd let him walk me back home, where he'd snuck me past our parents. I'd locked myself in my room and Isaac had let me alone. But his words had come through.

I didn't want to kill myself anymore, not because anything had changed, really, but because I didn't want to let Isaac down. He had always trusted me, so he was the only one I couldn't let down. And now that he'd gone and I was getting closer to Elise, I wouldn't waste that on anything.

"Isaac and I used to come here a lot," Elise said. She jumped down beside me, out of breath from dancing around.

"I know that," I said.

Elise smiled, "how?"

"Isaac told me," I said and shrugged. That, and I'd followed them once.

"Can I ask you something?" She sat down on the ground, so close to the edge her feet were dangling in the air. I sent her a glare, but she just ignored it and gesticulated at the ground next to her. I stood about five feet behind her; there was no way I was getting closer to the edge and I definitely wasn't going to sit down next to her.