Flashlight (You're Getting Me Through The Night)

Chapter 22

All of the sadness in me was slowly turning to anger, and I knew that wasn't a good thing, but I couldn't help it. I was beyond pissed. How could he treat me like this, after what I had done for him?

Maybe you didn't do enough...maybe he wanted something more and you weren't able to do that for him, said the voice in my head, and the sinking sad feeling came right back like a punch in the gut...fuck, what if all of this was my fault? What if I had driven away the only thing that had ever made me this happy?

"H, I brought you soup, if you want it...hey, you alright?" Liam's voice interrupted the stream of thoughts whirling through my head, and I turned, my eyes aching from the tears building behind them and my refusal to let them fall. Liam set the bowl down on my side table and sat down next to me. I looked at the ceiling, not wanting to make eye contact.

"What if this was all my fault?" I whispered, and Liam's mouth dropped open. He looked completely dumbfounded.

"Harry, how could you say that? None of this is your fault! It's his fault for being an ass and giving up the best part of his life for a reason that is a downright lie."

"But he...what?" I asked in confusion, not quite sure what he was referencing. Liam sighed and helped me sit up, looking me dead in the eye.

"Look, you guys may not have been dating for all that long, but I spent enough time watching you to know...the way he looked at you...it was like you were the only thing in this world worth looking at. I've never seen anyone look at someone the way he did you. If he really said that he didn't love you, he was lying. Because someone with that much affection and caring for another person can't just stop loving someone."

"Li, don't..." I begged. I didn't need him giving me that hope...I didn't need to hope and then get crushed every time I saw him...I couldn't take that.

"I'm being serious...I don't know if it was a defense mechanism, like how it used to be...he would always get mad even though he had no reason to be, simply because that was what worked for him. It stopped him from feeling. And that's what he's doing right n-"

"Liam, stop." My voice came out harsher than I meant it to, and Liam froze mid-sentence, gaping at me. I never snapped at him...or anyone, really. I was a relatively peaceful person. But right now I couldn't do this. "I don't care what he was trying to do, he made it quite clear that he didn't like me in the slightest and wanted me out of his sight. I don't know how much more clear he could have been on that. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I'm not going to grab onto that hope just to be crushed again. It was enough the first time."

Liam sat frozen for a minute, staring at me in shock, and then looked away. He stood up and I thought he was going to leave, and immediately I felt bad for yelling at him and I wanted to apologize over and over again, but he just picked up the bowl of soup and handed it to me.

"Here you go. Which movie do you want to watch?" he asked, and I almost cried with relief.

"You pick, Payno..."

"You haven't called me Payno in ages...missed it, H." Liam said with a smile, picking his favorite movie of all time: Batman. I almost laughed at the giddy look on his face, and once it was in and the lights were off, he settled in bed next to me, cuddling up close to me. I gave him a small smile and ate my soup, the warmth of the broth filling me and driving away a bit of the sadness. I snuggled up to Liam and he pulled me into his lap, letting me lay my head on his chest. It reminded me of the old days when we had done this all the time, and despite the pain still filling me, it put me at peace.

Louis' POV

The holidays had always been one of my favorite times of the year.The lights everywhere and the snow and the happiness of a lot of people coming together to celebrate had always made me happy. But this year, something was off, and I knew exactly what it was...I couldn't share it with the one person I truly wanted to.