Flashlight (You're Getting Me Through The Night)

Chapter 22

"Hey...Haz, look at me, please." I forced myself to look up at him, and all I could see in his brown eyes was sadness. If he was angry, which I'm sure he was, he wasn't showing it in front of me, opting instead to be sensitive, which was what I needed right now, and it just made me even more glad that he was my best friend. "There you go...I need you to tell me what he said...did he tell you why?"

My bottom lip quivered, but I swallowed hard. Liam needed to know, and I needed to talk to someone. "He started off nice with it...still a b-bad excuse...he didn't want to see m-me get h-hurt again...he said we couldn't be together..."

Liam encouraged me to go on with a nod, and I had to take a moment to get myself composed, because the next bit was the hardest.

"And then he got angry and I tried to...I just wanted him to know that I still cared, that I loved him, and he...he said...he..." I couldn't say it out loud...it hurt too much. Liam put a hand on my arm comfortingly, rubbing his thumb over the skin in a gentle soothing motion.

"You can tell me, H. It's alright..."

"He said he didn't love me anymore and I...I just couldn't take it...I ran...I'm so fucking stupid..." I wiped at my eyes angrily, hating that I was crying right now, but there was no way of stopping it...I was too hurt. Liam didn't say anything, and I wasn't completely sure why, but I didn't question it. If he asked me one more question I would completely lose it.

"C'mon, Haz. Let's get you upstairs. You need sleep and food, yeah?"

I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip, and Liam helped me stand, walking with me through the door and towards the stairs. Barbara was gone and my mum was nowhere to be seen...probably off doing some more decorating, no doubt. Liam lead me up the stairs and to my bed, the blanket still wrapped around me like a cocoon. He walked to my closet and pulled out a fresh white shirt and a pair of boxers, placing them next to me.

"Gotta get changed and then we'll get you all comfy and get you some food." His voice was soft and caring, and it took all of my willpower not to think about how it reminded me of how Louis' voice had been when he spoke to me. I reluctantly let the blanket drop and stood there for a moment until Liam kindly turned his back to me, waiting on me to get changed. I peeled off my jeans and shoes and socks, and then tore my boxers off quickly, pulling on the new ones and tugging the t-shirt over my head. They smelled clean, like my mum's laundry detergent, which made me feel a bit better, because my other clothes had more than likely smelled like Louis, and I definitely didn't need that right now.

I cleared my throat and Liam turned back around, picking the blanket up off the floor and handing it to me. I wrapped it around my shoulders, crawling into bed and facing away from Liam. I wanted to be alone but I also wanted Liam there, someone to ground me and keep me from thinking about Louis.

Liam pulled my comforter over me and pecked my forehead, something he would normally never do, but I guess he thought it was a good time. "Gonna go get you some warm food and I'll bring up a movie. Just gonna relax."

I barely nodded and Liam left quickly, hurrying down the stairs and towards the kitchen. I tried to breathe in but my chest felt constricted, the pain that I had been holding back now welling inside me. I knew that I now had to move on. There was no other choice. Louis would never want me back, no matter how hard I tried or wished or begged. I had to get over him. He was just a boy.

But he was more than a boy to me. I had felt something real with him, I still felt it, even through the pain. I loved him. Louis was the one for me. Despite everything and anything he had been in his past, I still loved him and I didn't know how I was ever going to make that feeling go away. I couldn't just forget how he had been with me. He had been kind...that person that I knew he could be, the person I saw through the anger. He had smiled and his eyes had sparkled and he had kissed me like he truly cared about me. Hell, we had made love, and even then he had been so kind, so wonderful, so gentle, and he had said he loved me. So what had changed? I had searched for him, I had gone into that house and risked death and worse to get him out...I had ended up in the hospital with injuries gotten while defending and protecting him...what the hell had I done wrong to deserve how he had just treated me?