In French

Chapter Twenty two

    “Ah! What do you mean?” I panted after the push.

    “The baby is stuck.” She muttered, frowning in concentration. “Take a deep breath in My Lady and I want you to push when I say and then I will be able to turn the baby.”

    I didn’t like the sound of what she was saying, panic and exhaustion were fighting inside my heart. I did as I was told and literally shook, my toes curled and my hands clenched as I pushed with all my might. It was awful. The pain was almost indescribable as I felt the midwife turn the baby while it was still inside me and I could not help the loud screech that escaped my mouth.

    “You are doing most wonderfully, Anna,” Giselle praised as I screeched, her mopping my brow. When I was done the midwife told me to keep pushing, one more time. It felt as if my bottom half ripped, I heard something tear and it hurt so terribly that my voice broke during the guttural growling whimper. The baby was delivered and I collapsed backwards, heaving great breaths into my pounding lungs.

    “Doctor.” The midwife called and as I felt something press on my eyelids I found myself waiting and waiting. What-oh my God. My baby was silent.

    “What is wrong?” I gasped as Giselle tried to hush and quench my worries. “My baby!”

    “The chord was round its throat.” The midwife muttered and I nearly had a heart attack. The courtiers that had gathered in the room were muttering, whispering behind their fans as they watched the scene play out before them as if they were at the theatre. It made me feel sick.

    The doctor was tending to me because apparently there was a bleed and through the stress, loss of blood and exhaustion I passed out.

    I woke up and it must have been some time later because the courtiers were no longer in the room. I could hear that the windows had been opened and I was sore below. Philip was sat in the chair near me and he looked tired which made my heart sink. Too soon. I pushed myself into a sitting position which brought my attention to Philip. He picked up a glass of water and handed it to me. “How are you feeling?”

    “Where is the baby?” I asked not beating around the bush. “Where is it?”

    “With the wet nurse. He had to go and be put under sunlight, his skin was slightly yellow.” He explained softly.

    I took a gulp of water, my free hand resting on my hammering heart as relief sank in. “I was-I thought-”

    “It is fine, Anna, he is going to make a good recovery. You look very tired and pale.”

    “It was a difficult birth.” I shrugged and then the other news sank in. “You keep saying ‘he’. Does that mean-” He nodded at me then lent in and kissed me on the cheek. “Another little prince! How lovely!” I put the glass down and shifted back into a lying position. “I-if you do not mind I think I will sleep some more before going to visit my beautiful little boy.”

    He got to his feet and rubbed his eye, “I quite understand. You did a mightily fine job today, my love.” He left and I collapsed into unconsciousness.

 ******

    I woke up and headed straight to the nursery where in a small cot and wearing an oversized white gown I saw my little too-soon-newborn. He was sound asleep, head turned to the side and the skin was too big for his tiny body. My breath caught in my throat, surely he was too small. The wet nurse got up from her chair that was right beside the cot and she curtsied but I held a hand up for her not to. “I should be curtsying to you.” I laughed softly. “You have been watching him the whole while?”

    She gave a shy nod, “yes Your Majesty.”

    My eyes were welling up as they returned to gaze anxiously yet adoringly at the baby sleeping oblivious in the cot. “I don’t know if he will be alright or not and the worst thing is there is nothing that I can do to help.” Tears trickled onto my cheeks. “I have nothing to give that will make him big and strong.”

    “He is weak Your Majesty but he is still here. You mustn’t forget that and you mustn’t give up on hope.” I nodded as I wiped at the tears before they could drop on him. I stayed by the cot, staring down despite the ache in my legs and back and the soreness I was feeling because I needed to make sure that he was still there. He was small, small enough that if you weren’t looking he might very well disappear.

    Sometime later Comtesse DeGeneres and Giselle came in and told me that I needed to return to my bed. I complained but they were adamant that I left, “you are just as weak as he is, Anna.” Giselle said as she took my arm. “And you will be no good to him if you yourself are not fit and strong.” I needed Josepha. I could feel myself teetering precariously close to the edge and she was always the one to yank me back. I needed my sister.