Strings Attached

~Chapter 5~

"We have gone over a hundred times through this discussion, Rabia. Don't bring it up now. She's going and that's settled," Abba answers, taking a tough stand. "But, can't you stop her from going? She can't live alone in a foreign land, for God's sake! Why don't you understand that?" "She won't be living alone. I've talked with a friend. He'll keep her in his house. He has a daughter of about Hidayah's age and goes to the same school. She'll be fine."

"I still don't agree with you. She could have simply studied here and then we'd have married her off to Amir in a few years." So that's what mum wanted all along. I couldn't have imagined it of her, ever. My mother has a doctorate in English, and she doesn't want her own daughters to study after graduation. How unfair the ways of this world are!

"She's not ready to show her face to Amir, let alone marry him in a few years. It's astonishing how little you know about your own daughter, Rabia! She's not like other girls. She wants to study." Abba says. My heart is swelling with pride for dad. You go, Daddy!

"If something disastrous befalls her over there, don't blame me." Mum's blood-pressure is starting to rise. "Even Amir won't marry her then." "Amir is not the only boy left in this world. She can get better grooms than him." I'm on cloud nine right now. "You don't need to be so scared, dear. She'll be fine, I promise. Trust Allaah, He's the All-Knower," Abba says, his tone softer this time.

"Aren't you scared, Ali? She's so close to your heart." Suddenly, mum's tone is lower and softer, as if she's going to cry. Mum crying?! I didn't see that coming! "This place will be so empty without her, Ali! What will we do, deprived of our little girl?" I have tears in my eyes, just by hearing my mother's tone. But I blink them back fiercely. Sometimes, I just can't understand my own mom. I feel like going in and hugging her right this moment. But she won't be happy to know that I eavesdropped on their conversation. I don't know what comes over her when she sees my face, but she immediately hardens her stance.

"I don't know, my love. I don't know."

Not able to hear anymore, I hastily run away from there. I feel my lungs choking-up with the unshed tears getting clogged in my throat, so I turn my feet towards the hall in order to grab a glass of water before I go to bed. After I've had my fill, I feel a little better. As I make my way upstairs, a voice calling my name arrests my ascent. For a moment, I'm scared. And then I remember who else is in the house. I had totally forgotten about him.

When I turn around, the tall frame of Amir Bhai enters my vision. He is standing near the foot of the stairs. I hastily check if my veil is in place, and answer him. "Did you need anything?" I ask, and he shakes his head. I'm about to turn away when he speaks once again. "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit." "You can do that tomorrow, while Raafiah is with me." There's no way I'm going to talk to him alone, at night. "Can't we talk alone for a while? Right now??" he asks, sounding eager. "Well then, speak."

"Let's go downstairs." "No. If you want to, talk right here or don't speak to me at all," I answer toughly. Saying thus, I ascend another step towards my room, when I feel someone clasp their warm hand with mine. I am surprised to find that it's Amir Bhai. He's never touched me, ever!

"What are you doing, Amir Bhai?! Please let go," I plead to him, trying to snatch my hands away. But his grip is strong. Probably the result of all the gym-going he's started to do. "Just let me speak to you once, in private, before you go," he pleads to me in return. "I'll explain to Mamu (maternal uncle) afterwards. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." He's not my dad if he wouldn't. But I don't say that out loud.

"Just don't touch me in any way," I warn him, agreeing to grant him one private, conference with me. "I won't, I promise," he answers solemnly. I don't know what oh-so-important things he wants to speak to me about, though. We make our way to the drawing-room. He beckons me to sit, but I stay rooted to my spot. 

Not wanting to disturb my parents, I don't bother to switch on the light. The street light is filtering in from one of the windows. I tell him to move over there, so that I can see him well. Also because I'll be able to move, if he tries anything. Although, he won't. The idiot is quite shareef, if you ask me. But, I maintain a safe distance between us.

"Don't call me 'Bhai' anymore, okay," he tells me, making me raise my eyebrows. "You very well know the position we're in." "It doesn't matter whatever position we may be in. You'll be my brother until---," I pause, checking myself of what I was about to say. Amir Bhai raises an eyebrow. He knows he's got me in an uncomfortable situation, and takes full advantage of it.

"Until what?" he urges me to speak. "You know what." "No, I want to hear it from your lips." What the heck?! I won't let him have the satisfaction of hearing me speak the 'M' word. "Until we fulfil our parents' promise," I reply smugly. "And what that promise might be, I wonder?" he asks me innocently. I swear I wanna pull all of his hair out, right this moment! "Don't push your luck, Mister!" I tell him angrily.

"Say 'Don't push your luck, Amir', and I swear I'll behave," the doofus has the audacity to strike a deal. "You know you're not in a position to bargain." "I very much am. I can detain you by force, you know." I just scowl at him at that, which he obviously can't see. Wow, you're a genius, Hidayah! "C'mon, just say my name once. How hard is it for you to say-- 'Amir'?"

"Talk business or I'm leaving," I tell him sternly, ignoring his last comment. "So you won't say my name... fine. When will you be coming back from Manchester?" is his question. Really? Is that all he had to ask me? "In the holidays, probably." "No. I mean, when you will finally be back?" he clarifies. "Oh, after I've done my 12th of course. Although, if I get a good scholarship and an acceptance letter from a good university, I might stay."

"Would you want to stay?" "If I like the atmosphere, then yeah, I would." "When I complete my engineering, I can think of applying for a job there. Just wanted to know what your priorities were," he told me and smiled. My heart skipped a beat at his concerned tone, but I didn't let it show that his words had affected me. "You can keep on studying there," he went on.

"How are you so sure that I'd want to spend my life with you?" I suddenly had the urge to ask him. He was surprised but he hid it well. "Wouldn't you?" Amir Bhai asked me, amused. "Well, I may change my mind, but right now I have no wish to be an idiot's wife." He chuckled at that. "I didn't know you wanted to be the 'idiot's wife' so badly!" I felt my cheeks growing hot at that. Trust him to pick up the wrong angle out of a statement.

Idiot! I used to call him that a lot, few years ago. Things changed, I guess. We stay silent for a bit. And then suddenly, he says, "I couldn't clearly see your face when you fell, you know. Will you show me again, if I beg you to?" A very insolent request. How could I think him 'shareef'? "You're taking too much advantage of this private talk, don't you think?" I tell him. 

"I'm being very lenient with you, dear." What's with him and using nice words. Idiot! "You're going away, Hidayah! At least, I would want to see your face once, so that I'd remember how you look!!" His voice is getting higher than normal in volume. I'll need to remind him about it if he doesn't want to be beaten to a pulp by dad.

I click my tongue. "Such short memory," I say. "You'll have to make do with my baby pictures, Amir 'Bhai'!" I tease him. And saying thus, I make a beeline for the stairs, only stopping when I've reached my room and securely locked the door.

-----AUTHOR'S NOTE------

Quite an emotional chapter... A bit cheesy too ;) Do tell me what you thought about it...

Cheers,

~Amenah.