Beginning in the Middle

7/29/13

Well.

It has been very nearly a year since my last update.

I must say, I'm disappointed in myself for letting this happen. Even so, I think it was almost bound to happen when I ended the first book at chapter 100. I'm surprised I even got that far; my attention span usually doesn't hold for that long.

I know that at this point nobody is going to remember much about me, but I feel like I need this closure for myself. I wish I could have recorded my junior year of high school as much as the first two, but since I can't turn back time and make myself do it, I figure that the least I can do is give a brief summary. So this is it, for anyone who read from the beginning or started in the middle or just picked up here. And for me, because I know that at some point in the future I will read this over and be both embarrassed and impressed by my high school self.

To review for anyone who may not know or remember, this story has followed my life from the beginning of my freshman year of high school. The previous post, where the story ended until today, was the first day of my junior year. I cataloged two years of my life, including my struggles with both depression and anxiety. I changed a lot during those two years, but I think I have changed even more in the past year.

So, to pick up where I left off, the first day of my junior year sucked. But to be fair, the first day of every year sucks. Even though I have high hopes for this coming year, I wouldn't be surprised if this first day sucks, too. I think it's a combination of lack of sleep, nerves, and being forced to socialize again after spending two months with only a few companions. However, my junior year didn't actually improve much after the first day. Since my last post gave a rundown of my classes from my first impression, I think it's only fair to give a description of how they really were, at least for the first half of the year.

In my last post I had assumed that Spanish was going to be especially difficult that year due to the "No English" rule. That was a fair assumption, given that the class was fairly difficult. However, it was also one of my favorite classes. My Spanish teacher has to be one of my favorite teachers I've ever had. I hated her freshman year, but we all discovered pretty quickly that once she gets to know her students, she really cares about them. One time early in the year, I was incredibly stressed; I had so much on my mind, including my dog being in the hospital, that I felt close to tears the entire week. I had to ask my teacher a question about one of our assignments, and she said that I had to do it in Spanish. I tried my best, but I couldn't focus enough to get it right, and the tears that I had tried to keep in refused to stay hidden. I was really embarrassed, but she just answered my question and made sure I was okay. She even gave me a hug, which she rarely did. It made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. That class was also improved by the fact that a lot of the people who I initially disliked were in French instead. 

Just to clear things up, I was in a program called IB, which was an advanced program that involved a lot of tedious projects and exams. It meant that in all of my classes I had some variation of the same 20 students, including my sister and 3 or 4 of my friends. It was a weird dynamic, and I really would not recommend spending that much time with the same group of people. Anyway, when you read, just imagine having every class with the same people. It definitely complicated things.

The second class I mentioned last time was Math. I was very right about the class being difficult, but not so right about the teacher being nice. Nothing against her as a person, but I really did not like her as a teacher. She was very sarcastic, and the way she interacted with the students seemed almost demeaning. I was afraid to ask questions because I didn't want her to make me look stupid in front of the class. She also missed weeks at a time and left us to teach ourselves entire sections from the textbook, which is something that I have never been able to do. In addition, she is the teacher who runs the National Honor Society at our school, a club that requires volunteer hours, and thus a lot of interaction with the teacher who sets up the projects. She uses texting to keep up with the hours, and I'm not really comfortable texting my teachers, so that's not really fun for me.