사랑

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What do you love about Taehyung? Saying 'everything' would be too easy yet not close to enough.
Love is truly complicated.

At first you're blind, everything about the other person seems to be perfect in your eyes. The first weeks pass like this, you imagine that this is what love feels like. But it's not even close. It's only being blind because of admiration.

Out of sudden this image of your perfect partner seems to become blurred. Now you realise, the person you loved all along isn't the person you imagined him to be. He does things you can't cope with, it simply seems wrong to you. You don't want him to be like this, full of flaws which don't fit you. There's no other way than changing him.

And this was the mistake of your relationship. Both of you didn't know real love, what real love is about.
Love is more suffering than actually enjoying. But if you really love, all of that suffering doesn't matter at all. The weight of your beautiful moments and your mutual feelings is much heavier.
You want the best of the best for your partner. And you're ready to give everything for him. That's what love is about. And that was the lesson which the two of you were taught.

Before your breakup it hadn't really been love. One big factor was that you were unexperienced. It was the first time you had to deal with a relationship. Obviously everyone was talking about how tiring relationships were but until now you had always thought that a relationship had to make you happy. And that was your mistake. Love is about hard work and your price should be the happiness of your partner.

Taehyung had practically moved in since he spent most of the days and nights at your place. The first few days were like your very first days two years ago. Happy times, simply enjoying each others company. Until now you hadn't really talked about the past, the present nor the future. But it was important. And this tense atmosphere, that you still had to talk about it, was always floating around.

Not how you expected it at all, usual for Taehyung, he decided to talk about it while you were watching a movie. You were cuddled in his arms while he was playing with your hair. None of you were actually watching the movie.

"Can I ask you something?", his low voice sounded like the most beautiful melody you had ever heard.

You were thinking that it was water or something to eat that you had to get him. Just when you wanted to stand up and get him something he grabbed your wrist, making you fall down onto his lap.
After a bit of giggling he turned serious very quickly.

"I... I'm just wondering sometimes about how you feel. Of course I know that we both want to leave the past behind but still I wonder... how you feel. After you know... I cheated on you.", he was playing with your fingers and just like a kid he hadn't looked into your eyes once.

A slight smile was formed on your lips.

"Of course I'm hurt. But I trust you Taehyung. I trust you with all my heart. It'll take a little time until we're over our past, but we should be thankful for it, right?"

His cute smile never failed to weaken your heart. Whenever he smiled you felt happiness and a warm sensation in your heart. This must be love.

"It taught me a lot of things. So I must be grateful. But I'm even more grateful that I have you now. Sometimes I lay in bed and I can't sleep because everything seems so surreal. My girl is finally mine again. I must've been a superhero in my past life.", he laughed a little.

Taehyung loved you. And you knew that. It wasn't only the way he looked at you or the way he wrapped his arms around you whenever he got the chance - moments like these in which the two of you shared your feelings were the moments in which you felt loved.

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