A/N: I feel like all I've been doing is writing lately, but chapters are still taking me way to long to get done.
You guys, I'm really sorry. I don't know why it takes me so long, I need to find a way to speed things up a little, so that I can start updating regularly.
It's also hard, especially with this story, because I constantly have new ideas about where the plot is going , and I have to pick and choose what plot line to follow, as I'm writing the chapters
I deleted the story of us part two, because I am simply going to incorpurate that plotline into this story. I was having such a hard time motivating myself to write that story, because I wanted to focus on this story, and also on Project Voice. However I didnt want to completely lose that storyline, becasue I had some cool ideas for it. So i thought this could be a nice way to not have to worry about that story, but still get to keep the plot of it.
I am sorry to say this, but I am not going to update anything for a while. I am dealing with a lot of family drama right now, and its stressing me out and just putting me in a horrible mood. I don't want that to carry over to my writing, so no updates after this. Sorry.
Also, sorry this authors note is so long. but I had to lot to tell you guys.
Anyway, here is a new chapter. It will be a bit short. Enjoy.
*James pov*
"James, are we ever getting married?" The question catches me off guard.
"Uhhh." Is all I can say.
"What? Haven't you thought about it before?"
"Actually no, I haven't." I admit.
"Are you kidding me? Jay we've been together for two years and you've never thought about us getting married?"
"No, not once." Alex looks a little hurt, I instantly feel guilty.
"Is that something that maybe you would want? Would you want to get married?" He asks hopefully.
"I don't know, like I said, I've never thought about it."
"Well then think about it."
Hmmm
Do I want to marry Alex? Do I even want to get married in general? I never pictured myself as being married. I always wanted to be independent, sort of living by my own rules. I never factored a wife, or husband, in the equation.
Do I want to get married??
No, I don't think I do.
"Alex, I love you. Honestly I do, bu-" He cuts me off.
"I see. So you don't want to marry me." He mumbles, sounding more sad then angry.
"No babe it's not that I don-" He cuts me off again.
"Look James it's okay. I understand. I'm not mad or anything." He stands up and walks away.
I feel like I should say something, but I don't know what to say. There's nothing I can do to make him happy right now, except wanting to get married.
I can't just change the way I feel.
Alex said he wasn't mad, so maybe I should just leave it alone.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Okay.. so.. I may have fucked up a bit.
It's been like two days and Alex is barely talking to my anymore. He isn't acting like he's mad, he's just distant..
He doesn't make eye contact with me anymore, every time I look at him, he looks away. He goes to bed really early, and pretends to be asleep when I come to bed, even when he's not.
I cant stand not talking to him, but I don't know what to say. The only thing that would make this better is taking back what I said about not wanting to get married ever, but I cant just change the way I feel.
Sigh.
Maybe I should just talk to Alex about it. I don't know its going to fix anything, but I know i have to at least try.
I enter my bedroom, trying to find him. I frown seeing he's not there. I walk down to his bedroom, which he only uses to keep his stuff in, and nock on the door.
There is no answer. I slowly push the door open, and find the room empty. Even the closet is empty, and its normally filled with his clothes. The desk, which normally holds his laptop, is also empty. I frown.
Where the hell could he be??
I exit the room and look all over the house. After about an hour of not finding him, I start to panic.
"Alex?" I pace the house calling his name.
"Alex...ALEX??"
Megan comes into the room. Mom and dad are away for the weekend, so its just the three of us.
"Whats going on?" She asks.
"I'm looking for Alex." She bites her lip.
"Oh.." She says softly.
"Where is he?!?!" I ask desperatly. She gives me a simpathetic look.
"He left a few hours ago." My heart sinks.
"Why did he leave? Where did he go?" She shurgs.
"I dont know, but he asked me to give you this." Megan hands me a small folded note, then leaves the room, I guess to give me the privacy to read it.
Oh god. Was Alex breaking up with me?
No! He wouldnt do that over something so stupid, like not wanting to get married.
Would he?
I take a deep breath to brace myself, then unfold the note and slowly run my eyes over page.
