Various Drabbles (Slash/Femslash/Het/Gen) [Ranging from PG to R]

Warped Reflections [Femslash]

FEMSLASH (girlxgirl) [Yes, if you read the title it does say there'll be other drabbles aside from boyxboy] Rated around a PG for self harm.

This is short and hard to swallow. Beware.

“Karen of the carpenters, singing in the rain. Another lovely victim of the mirror’s evil ways.” – Librarian – My Morning Jacket

Warped Reflections

“Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough,” Sarah repeats to herself, lying awake in bed, trying to count the calories she’s consumed throughout the day. She thinks it might be a number below zero.

The vomit smell lingering on her breath seems to agree.

It’s either gaining, reframing, or abstaining, the days alternate depending on her mood. It could be a binge day, where she raids the fridge when her mother’s at work and then pukes it all up before the food can set—gaining. Or it could be a good day, a day where she thinks she might be able to find a good balance, but instead cries herself to sleep in agony—reframing. Then, it could be a horrible day, a day where she eats absolutely nothing and spends every consuming second thinking about food, wanting it above all else—abstaining.

Sometimes Sarah wonders what she would be, if the eating disorder never existed.

XxXxXxX

Out of all the billions of people on this earth, nobody seems to understand Sarah better than Jasmine.

It’s the understanding that brought them together, the calming feeling they feel whenever the other is around that keeps them that way. Sarah constantly feels like she has to be what everybody else wants to her be. She wants to be that girl on TV that everybody watches, wants to fit a mold that is utterly insane. She purposely wears too big shirts, hanging off her bony frame, hoping they’ll notice how thin she looks. She puts on excessive amounts of makeup—extra cover-up to smudge the dark bruises under her eyes—styling long blonde hair that hasn’t framed her narrow face properly since the hallows in her cheeks started to sink in. She does this all because she thinks she has to, to satisfy the warped reflection that glances back at her. But with Jasmine—she’s never made her feel like everyone else does.

And Sarah wishes she could be a better person because of that.

Everyday her brown haired best friend will come with her afterschool and watch her closely as the blonde ate a small meal, leaving behind notes that read ‘please eat’ all over her room. Sarah saves all of them in a tiny little shoe box under her bed and rips one up every time she doesn’t listen.

Whenever the box is empty, she falls asleep wishing she were dead.

XxXxXxX

“Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.”

Its summer and they spend their late afternoons sitting in Sarah’s big house, reading poetry, Sarah with her head in the other’s lap, humming idly. Jasmine usually stayed over days in a row during breaks because the blonde hated the feeling of sitting in an empty house while her parents vacationed somewhere she never wanted to be.

And Jasmine hated the thought of leaving Sarah entirely alone.

“I think…that’s my favorite Frost poem.”