Mom I'm Sorry... I Joined The Mafia [ON HOLD]

1. The Wierd-Ass Hobby

"-But I had a reason! I swear!" I tried to placate my loveably crazy Italian of a mother, who was too busy swinging her barbaric weapon left and right to even aim clearly at her initial target - me.

I strategically manoeuvred over and around our kitchen furnishings backwards - narrowly missing the edge of the table from moulding into my buns.

Phew. That would've hurt. I remember thinking, before my moms angry broom whacked me squarely on the head.

"OUCH!! MUM! CAREFUL!! That's my HEAD! NOT a damn COCONUT!"

"Don't flatter than empty head of yours! A coconut would prove more useful than you - by far!" She shrieked, trying to whack me with her swinging stick of doom. "You stupido idiota (stupid idiot)!!"

*WHACK!*... *WHACK!* *WHACK!*

"Mamma! Please! Calm down! It's not as bad as it sounds." I said, shrugging a little - trying to play it off cool, knowing my mom could see through my every lie.

"YOU JOINED THE MAFIA, MIA FIGLIA (my daughter)!" She cried, her eyes now tearing up with evident concern for her only child.

"Come hai potuto?! (How could you?!)" She whispered, feeling betrayed by only piece of family left.

I couldn't answer. I knew she knew the answer to that.

I joined the mafia to find answers.

•

But before I explain my actions, let me first talk you through how I ended up as I did.

...Err...

Well... How do I start...

*clears throat*

•

It was a cold, Winters evening... And all though town ... Not a creature was stirring... Not even a mouse... (A/N: 'twas the nightmare before Christmas, in more ways than one. I blame my mother -___-)

However, most of those unfortunate people using the streets after 9pm are smart enough to keep a cute panic alarm on them, for protection. It also works well as a weapon to deafen the weak-eared (I admit I tried the potency of mine on an unsuspecting bystander once. It felt good, affirming how awesomely it worked ... And no I don't have issues...) - since the town I live in is East St. Louis, America.

Any normal teenager would say it sucks to live here, so I guess I'm no normal teenager. For me, this place is my ideal - it couldn't get any better for me.

This town, this area of town to be precise, is where the notorious La Costra Nostra (the Italian Mafia's) American base is situated - 10 minutes away from my home, in fact.

A large, white mansion with tall gates, high walls, and top-notch security - housing an army of Italian Men in Black. You couldn't miss it if you tried.

But they're no reason to get too worked up over this little piece of information, and I'll tell you why.

You see, the Mafia men don't stay, unless they've decided to take an extended "business trip" to America - which happens more or less twice a year. And they don't usually stay for longer than a week - meaning you could live off canned food in a lovely dark corner of your home til they leave, without a problem.