Switch the professor's lecture notes with your history notes from last term.
Raise your hand and ask when the movie is going to start.
Bring a flash camera. Take pictures every few minutes, using a very bright flash. If anyone complains, say that you didn't see any sign saying you couldn't bring cameras.
Bring a light bulb. Hold it over your head whenever you have the answer to a question.
Bring an easel and a paint set. Paint a portrait of the professor during the lecture. Say that it is a homework assignment for art class
Sneeze very loudly. Then, have the person next to you sneeze, then the person next to him, and so on. See how long it takes before the professor sneezes.
When the professor comes in, say, very loudly, "Hey! A substitute! All right!" Claim that the real professor said you could have lecture outside.
Come to class wearing the same outfit as the professor. Call the professor a copycat.
If it's a geology lecture, switch the quartz crystals with New Folger's Crystals and see if the professor notices. Have a hidden camera.
Hide a ticking clock under the podium. Call in a bomb threat.
Write your assignment on Plato on your little sister's modeling clay.
Ask questions in a foreign language you know the professor doesn't know. Act angry when he/she doesn't understand you.
Come to class dressed as a professional wrestler. Tell people you joined the wrestling team. Bodyslam anyone who doesn't believe you.
When the professor comes in, suddenly scream, "NOOOOOO! Not him! Not professor Johnson!! They let him teach again! Noooooooooo!" then run out of them room. See how many people follow you.
Turn your row into a mosh pit.
Before class starts, turn all the desks upside down. Sit on them like you would normally.
Two words: American Gladiators.
Make requests like people do at rock concerts. ("Relativity! Relativity! Einstein rocks!")
Bring popcorn. Throw it and the professor. Complain that these trained animal shows aren't what they used to be.
Bring a tape player and a tape of the school bell. Play it every 15 minutes.
When the professor calls on you, mumble inconprehensibly. Answer every question in this fashion. See how long it takes before the professor stops calling on you.
When you take a test, hire a security guard to stand by your desk and make sure no one cheats off your paper.
Make up a strange religious cult and distribute flyers for it during class. If it is a religious studies class, complain that your cult was not included in the textbook, and demand that they get a new one.
Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
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