diamonds | river phoenix

twenty four

I regained my conscience and I was staring into a bright light. At first, I thought it was one of my visions. I tightly shut my eyes, refocusing my thoughts in hope that everything would go back to normal; but it didn't.

I looked around. I was in a blank room. A high-pitched squealing drowned out any other noise that could have been heard. It felt like I was being held down, I tried getting up but I couldn't. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I started panicking. Where was I? How did I get here? Where was River?

After struggling for a few minutes, I was finally able to stand up. My legs felt numb and were shaky. I wobbled on my feet until I gained balance. I walked reluctantly around the room, carefully inspecting every edge and corner for a way to escape, but there wasn't one.

My vision was blurring and I felt faint and dizzy. My mind was skipping to conclusions, I could have been sure I was dead.

"She's alright."

I snapped out of it.

"What's going on?" I shrieked. I flung myself up, I was sitting on a hospital bed, in a room with River and a doctor.

River was white and his face was blank. He sweated nervously, and ran his fingers through his hair. He did that whenever he was worried.

River threw himself around to come face to face with me.

Closer up, I could see that he had been crying. His cheeks were puffy and eyes red.

"River, what's wrong?" I asked.

"You keep passing out, you had me scared to death!" He sighed.

Death. That word ringed in my mind. The more I repeated it, the more it didn't sound real.

I sighed. I felt unwell, hazy and tired.

"What's going on?" I said to the doctor.

"We're not quite sure. You've been going unconscious on and off for the past week. We think it may be something in your system." The doctor explained.

"Week?!" I shrieked.

"We've had you under a close watch for a week." The doctor said, turning around on his spinning chair and flicking through some papers.

"I need to get a drink." River sighed. He looked awfully fatigued, I instantly felt guilty.

"Take a break." The doctor nodded. I held onto River's hand  as he exited the room, until he got too far away for me to reach.

"How come I don't remember any of this?"

The doctor spun back around.

"Side affects of the anaesthetics, most likely." The doctor answered.

Most likely? This man didn't even know what he was talking about.

I lied back down and put my hands over my face. I couldn't be sure who I was. I mean, I knew I was Sidney Parks, but who was I really? A cold shiver ran down my spine and River reentered the room holding a bottle of water.

He sat down beside my bed and smiled a little.

"Where are we?" I whispered.

"Hospital." He said, sipping from the bottle.

"No, I mean where?" I repeated.

"Toronto."