If I Could Fly {Lilo} {Completed}

T W O

The next morning I didn't have to go to work as it was a Saturday, I was watching the news as I was doing a paper on Music Theory for college. "The Mysterious hero had yet once again saved the lives of others when the bridge in London collapsed. The Masked hero managed to lift the falling bus with only one hand. Everyone calls him, The Shadow as he lurks in the shadows. But the number one question everyone has is 'Who is the masked hero?' Back to y-" I rolled my eyes. What a load of crap, it's all just smokes and mirrors, or they must be running out of stories. I scoffed and finished up the paper with ease.
    I heard my stomach rumble, "I should probably eat something..." I mumbled to myself. I got up, walking to my small kitchen to fix myself something to eat. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. Upon opening the fridge, I reached for where the milk usually is but quickly realized, there was none.
    "Crap," I sighed. I really wasn't in the mood to go to the shop today, or any shop at that matter. I groaned, I guess I would have to go, I didn't exactly have a choice because I knew I'd need milk later in the week. I forced myself to walk to my room to get dressed. I pulled on a black Adidas shirt, a black zip-up hoodie to keep warm and some black skinny jeans. I didn't try to do much with my hair, so I just combed through it with my fingers and thought that would be good enough. To finish the outfit, I just threw on some black Vans. "Better than going out in plain joggers." I sighed to myself and grabbed my wallet from the counter and walked out the door, heading down the road to the shop I normally go to, the only place where I felt somewhat safe.
    As usual, I was getting glares and people were obviously talking about me. As one can probably tell, Doncaster isn't a 'gay friendly' community. I plan on leaving one day, but there's no way I can afford it.
    I finally reached my destination, walking inside and heading to the dairy section, grabbing the jug with a blue cap, heading to the counter. I put the container of milk onto the counter, pulling out my wallet, setting 79p down. To my surprise, the cashier wasn't the usual, chirpy, not-so-homophobic-but-still-think-it's-a-sin Merida, instead it was someone else, a middle aged man who sneered at me, like I was a pile of rubbish. "What? Can't a man buy his own milk?!" I snapped at the cashier, who was taken aback for my sudden outburst. He slowly took the money and handed back change.
           I grew more irritable by the second, I held a scowl on my face as I kept my eyes on the road and my head down as I walked back to my apartment complex when all of sudden, I'm immediately on the ground with milk all over me. "Are you freaking serious right now?!" I snarled, before glaring up at the culprit for knocking me down. "I am so sorry I wasn't paying any attention!" The voice gasped immediately trying to help me. "I don't need your-" I finally locked eyes with him. I let a small gasp out. He had the most beautiful brown eyes, it was like Chestnuts roasting over a fire, when you have that perfect toast to them. They held a sense of softness to them, so soft that I immediately felt myself began to trust the stranger.
Before I knew it, I was up on my feet again, my heart was pounding at my sudden attraction for this, really cute guy. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking myself." I let out barely a whisper, C'mon Louis stop. He's no one you can trust. He's probably like everyone else, homophobic and against him in general. I cleared my throat. "I'm Liam." The stranger said holding out his hand. I looked down at his kind gesture. "You're not from around here are you?" I asked, not bothering to tell him my name, because if you lived in Doncaster, then you knew me. Because I'm the only one in this crap place who is openly gay, and everyone knew me. "Yes, I'm not from here, I just moved here from Wolverhampton." He had an awkward, but kind smile fixated on his face. I was surprised, that he hadn't heard anything from the rest of jerks here in this stupid town... "I'm surprised you haven't heard about the Town's only openly gay." I sighed with annoyance. "I have heard about you. You're Lewis right?" He asked. "Lou-ee." I said, getting more annoyed. "Oh, I'm so sorry." He said. "Yeah." I said softly. "You seem like a really cool guy. Why not allow me to buy you another jug of milk, and we could talk about you, since you seem agitated?" He offered, I started laughing, "Okay who put you up to this? Where are the cameras that will embarrass me publicly?" I asked, turning around and began to head home, but I was stopped by him getting in front of me. "Wait what?" He asked with a gasp, "People do this to you? Show no compassion? No empathy?" I looked at his chestnut roasted eyes, beginning to believe that he was serious about everything he said. "You really have no clue do you Liam?" I asked softly. He slowly shook his head. "Doncaster is a non-gay friendly community. So, me being the only one who is openly gay has given me a bad reputation for just being gay. Causing everyone in this God-forsaken town, to turn on me. So," I sighed shaking my head, my walls hardened once again. "Never mind. You don't care. No one does." I said bitterly, walking past him beginning to shiver from the chilly air and the cold milk.
"Wait Louis, I do care!" He called after me. "That is a load of rubbish and you know it. Do me a favor and leave me alone. Don't ever talk to me again." I called over my shoulder chattering my teeth. "You're freezing. Come on let's get you home." He ignored my request to leave me alone. "You're not like them, are you?" I eventually gave in and surrendered to his help. "No, I'm not homophobic." He said with a ghost of a smile written on his face. "You're not repulsed by my 'choices' of 'sinning?' " I stopped and looked at him.
"Why? Do I need to be repulsed? Even though I'm not so straight myself?" He asked with a question. "You're gay?" I asked with a whisper. "Out of the closet and on the streets." He said, helping me get in my apartment. "You need to get out of this town then, believe me, everyone will-" "Why haven't you?" He asked suddenly cutting me off. "...I can't afford to, I'm stuck in a dead-end café job, I don't even get minimum wage, because of my sexuality. It's law. Even though My boss is one of the only ones who will tolerate me, but like Merida, the cashier at one of the only places I feel somewhat safe, he does not agree with my, 'choice' of being gay. But he tries to help out the best he can." I said sighing. "That's horrible." He gasped, "I'm here for...business? Yeah, Business." He said.
I squinted my eyes at him half- believing his reasons for being in a boring, homophobic town. "Oh." The tv had another story about The Shadow. I rolled my eyes, More reports show that The masked hero has stopped another robbery. Police stated that they are astonished by the abilities of the masked hero, Could he be the real-life Superman? Or is it just by coincidence that we have a hero who can save societ-  "Smoke and Mirrors. Total Malarkey...They are trying to gain more views because they have nothing else to write about." I scoffed turning the T.V off. Liam slowly nodded, "Right." He let a small chuckle out.
After a few hours of talking, Liam had given me his number and I gave him mine, and left because he had work he needed to get done. I laid down on my bed and lightly squealed. I was just happy that there was someone who finally accepts me for my sexuality. But the more I thought about it the more sad I'd become. What if he's just trying to get me to trust him just to humiliate me even more? To just shatter what little hope I have for acceptance?
There was a tightness in my chest, the silence was deafening, I began to breathe more heavily, the words were hurting me, as another anxiety attack hits me.
Worthless...
Sinner...
Gay...
What have I done to deserve any of this nonsense?! Why can't I be accepted for who I am? Why can't I just be like any other guy and like girls? Why can't I just be happy for once?! I don't know what I did to make the entire town hate me but utter the words, 'I'm gay.' I just want to escape this, I wanted peace, I wanted to die, and so I cried myself to sleep after a few hours.
When I woke up the next morning I had made up my mind that I was going to do it. I was going to finally kill myself, giving what everyone wanted, my death. I was going to do it tonight. I just can't take it anymore. I prepared my final breakfast, prepared myself for my final college classes, I watched my final episode of American Horror Story as I waited until it was time to go. I walked through the park one final time. I was reflecting on my crappy life very carefully, slowly growing more depressed from it. I hated it. I hate my mom, I hate my father, I. Hate. Everyone. And soon, I was going to be free from everything.