Chim - Mirrors

CHAPTER 11

"We're together now, that's all that matters." I mumble. She nods once, pulling away from me and smiling. 

"Come on." I take her hand, leading her into the bedroom. I lay down and she lies down beside me, her head resting on my chest. I wrap my arms around her comfortably and she sighs.

"This feels nice." She mutters, a small smile on her face. I laugh loudly and she looks up at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just...I think this is the first time I'm cuddling someone in bed. Ever."

"You're only seventeen." She says, rolling her eyes. I laugh again.

"That's true. I haven't exactly had any relationships either. Only one, but it doesn't necessarily count, it was only two weeks." She laughs, looking at me in shock.

"Two weeks?"

"I was twelve! Boys were still icky for me back then!" She laughs again, shaking her head. 

"What about you?" I ask hesitantly. She sighs.

"High School. Two year relationship that ended really badly." I wait for an explanation, but she doesn't give one. I leave it alone, thinking it might still be a sensitive topic for her. 

"Is that what this is?" She asks softly. I look at her, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Is this a relationship?" She whispers. I look up at the ceiling, biting my lip.

"Do you want it to be?" I ask. She sucks in a breath, her whole body stiffening in my arms. She sits up suddenly and I let her go. She crosses her legs, her fingers reaching out and intertwining with mine. 

"I don't know. I just don't know how I feel."

"It's okay. I don't know how I feel, either." I say, chuckling softly. She smiles, sighing.

"Can we just...sleep?" She asks. I laugh and look at the clock on her bedside table.

"It's only twelve in the afternoon, Cheryl."

"I know, I just...a nap?" She says, pouting. I roll my eyes.

"Well I can't say no when you pull a face like that. Alright." She smiles and lays down beside me, her hand still gripped in mine. I look at her with a sigh, a swirl of emotions taking over me.

I shouldn't be doing this. God, I really shouldn't! Getting attached to her like this. What if she's taken away from me? What if something happens?

I close my eyes, taking deep breathes and willing my body into sleep.

But I'm not granted solitude or peace there.

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I'm chasing after her, but she keeps getting further and further away. I call her name desperately, my voice broken and torn in anguish and she's reaching out to me as well. I'm running after her, but a wall seems to come out of nowhere and I can't see her anymore. I scream again, begging her to come back...

"Kimberley, wake up!" 

My eyes open and Cheryl's hovering over me, a frown of worry on her face.

And I'm crying before I can stop myself.

"Shh, shh! It's okay!" She brushes my hair back, taking me into her arms gently.

"I lost you...I lost you..." I choke out, my chest constricting tightly. I hate nightmares. They always seem too real. Too vivid. And it had felt real...

"I'm right here, babe. Right here..." She presses a soft kiss to my forehead and I look up at her.

"I don't...I can't lose you." I whisper, gulping down my tears. She brushes my hair back.

"I'm not going anywhere." She says firmly. I shake my head.

"What i-if someone takes you away-" She grips my face tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere." She repeats fiercely. I let out a shaky breath, trying my best to smile.

"I'm sorry..."

"Shh, I know how bad nightmares are for you, it's okay..." She whispers, smiling at me. We're silent for awhile, and then she lays down beside me and pulls me to her chest.

"This used to calm you down, remember? Me holding you?" She says softly. I nod once, snuggling into her chest just like she did with me earlier in the afternoon. I can hear and feel her heart beating beneath her chest at a calm pace, and I take a deep breath.

She's here. She's with me. I can physically feel and hear her heart beating beneath me.

And with that reassuring thought, I fall back into a dreamless sleep, Cheryl's arms still wrapped around me tightly.