Extra

11- I Could Be

"What are you doing with your prom dress, sweetie?" My dad asks me as I'm hauling the large plastic bag through the living room toward my car the next morning. He's sitting in front of the couch with his laptop on the coffee table in front of him open with an empty Word document.

"We're doing a prom shoot today," I explain to him. "And I get a bump in my paycheck if I bring in my own prom dress. It didn't get any use yet so it might as well be used for this."

"That's good—have a great time at work," He calls to me as I'm opening the door to leave.

"Yeah, you too, Dad," I sigh, noticing that he's doing absolutely no writing on the laptop and all he's doing is watching TV but that's a fight for another time. We always fight about that, how he's not bringing in any money. My mom blames him for the fact that I have to work so hard as an extra because he doesn't have a real job. But writing is a real job! At least, that's what my dad always insists. Even though he hasn't published a book in over five years and he's right now staring at an empty Word document.

I lay the dress in the back of my car once I'm outside and then I'm driving off to the studio. Once I'm in the parking lot, I'm lugging my long, heavy prom dress to the entrance of the building. Once I'm back in wardrobe, I realize that the extras are already getting dressed so I find Marina, who is already wearing her short purple dress that poofs at the waist. There's a pair of silver pumps dangling from the tips of the fingers on her right hand.

"I don't look too shabby, right?" She wonders with a grin, twirling around.

"Yeah, you look amazing," I say with a small laugh. "Way to go."

"Thank you. Now go get dressed, I'm dying to see what your dress looks like," She says, urging me toward the room to get dressed in.

"Okay, okay," I laugh at her. "I'm going."

Once I get into the room, I get dressed in my long prom dress. It's strapless and gold at the top with winding gold throngs through to the bottom that turns into a teal color. It's a really gorgeous dress and I was really excited to wear it to prom, I was really excited for prom period. I had already started stripping a few weeks before prom, when I turned eighteen, and that really caused me to pull apart from my friends so prom was going to be my night to spend with my friends in high school. I even had a date and he was gorgeous and funny and nice. He didn't really appreciate it when I cancelled the day before prom.

Once I'm in the dress, I stuff my clothes into my bag and pull out my gold stilettoes. I've kept them since I bought them for prom too. I've done a lot of things to keep Kurt happy for as long as possible but I could never get myself to sell my prom outfit.

Once I put my bag away, I am quickly pushed into hair and makeup. We're on a tight schedule today. The director wants to get all of the prom shots done today, which is very tough but if we work quickly, it can happen.

The hairdresser curls my hair and then pins it into a bun on top of my head and the makeup artist adds some foundation, red lipstick, and eye makeup. I look like I'm really going to prom.

I like how I look when I'm looking at myself in the vanity mirror in the hair and makeup area but when Marina finds me in the extras lounge, she pulls me to a full body mirror so that I can see the full ensemble.

"You. Look. Unstoppable." Marina tells me with a wide grin. "Seriously amazing."

"I..." It's taking my breath away. I feel that same feeling that I felt when I was at the nightclub with Marina, dancing with that stranger. When he kissed my neck, I could pretend like it was love. And when I'm looking at myself in the mirror prepared for a fake prom, I can pretend like it's real. I can pretend like Kurt never got sick—that he was at home, helping me get ready for prom. No, he wouldn't be doing my makeup or helping me adjust my dress but he'd be standing at the bottom of the stairs with my parents, my mom holding a video camera, as they film me coming down the stairs. He'd open the door for my date, whose name was Aaron, and he would scare the guy shitless with empty threats about what would happen if he hurt me.