Expect Something {BillDip Fanfic}

Chapter 37

Now, which way will I go?

"You really are special, dear. Even for an 18 year old, we have 3 years difference." She sang, playing along.

"What did you do to Bill?" Why the fuck did I ask that question?

Reikka is surprised by the sudden question but soon smiled again. "Nothing? I did no such thing to him. He is merely my partner since the start!" She chirped.

I swallowed, not even daring to look at him in the eye. "P-Partner?" I muttered. But, aren't I? His partner? I am Alice, and he is my demon, right? Right?

"Y-You're lying.." I swallowed my chills and put on a fake brave expression, but I know one more truth punching me on the face. This will be gone in a second, I will not be able to take it.

"Oh really then? How about we ask your demon, then? I guess he wont mind, wont he?" She looked sweetly at Bill, who only stared back at me.

Don't look. Don't look at him, please, I'm begging.

"It is the truth."

And there, I felt my whole world burn into ashes.

He is looking straight at me with an eye that has no emotion. I cant even believe myself looking back at him now with terrified eyes. "Y-You must be joking, right?" I stammered.

The memories of his.

"It's the truth." His eye closed and opened, its different. Everything is. "Ever since you came back here is planned, I played my own role. And didn't failed my own human." He explained, with a low tone.

No. No. No! I trembled. The memories of him with me, the laughs, smiles, kisses, the date, him. They we're all fake. Fake. Fake.

He lied. He turned his back to me ever since he won my trust for him. He once thought I will die, and having a truck running over me is probably the best humane way to kill me. He is the one, who wanted to kill me. He is. Why didn't I saw this earlier?

Oh, right. I fell in love to his fascade.

I fell in love to the fake him. That is not him. I am all alone from the start. He is a tricky demon, more trickier than Cadmian. He lied, betrayed me ever since I met him.

My breath came in short and noticed the tears stuck in my eyes, making my eyesight a little blurry. I'm crying. And this time, no one will wipe this tears away. I didn't fell in love. I didn't. I chewed my lower lip as I wiped away my tears by my fore arm. Was I even his property? Or was it all a joke?

LIAR.

"My, don't cry, Dipper! Everything hurt does it?" Reikka's voice came closer and I felt her hand on my shoulder. I jerked and slapped away her hand, pale face and trembling hands. Sickening, disgusting. Both of them, are liars. This whole world is full of fucked up liars!

Unintentionally, I grabbed the gun on my hip and aimed it to Reikka. My hands are trembling but I am sure with my aim.

"Don't you dare touch me!" I yelled with a crack voice.

I am still crying, probably sobbing by now. I never felt so weak. I am being betrayed by someone again. Why did I even trust him? Was it because he is so sweet back then? I easily gave my trust to him? Was I an idiot? Why did I do that? Why, Dipper? Why?

Reikka smirked, confident. "You won't kill me. You can't kill me."

She's right, I cant. I never held a gun for a very long time now. I hiccuped. Bill lied to me. Bill isn't the "Bill". He isn't the real him. Only a fascade. A mask, to set up and kill me.

Yes, kill me.

It never changes his goal, does it?

If Mabel is here, she will be laughing at me with the dumbest face ever, pointing at me, yelling to me. "This is what you get for trusting a dream demon!" Or "I told you so!" She is right, ever since from the start. I shouldn't have trusted him, I shouldn't have been so curious about everything and I will never be in this mess.

"Come now, Dipper. You can be one of us, you know."

Stop..

"Ruling this space, be the queen, you can get whatever you want!"

I didnt want everything.. I just want Bill to be back..

I couldn't take the pain anymore. I don't want to feel anything anymore! I clutched on the gun as I closed my eyes tightly, until I heard someone whispered in my ear, Mariella.

"Kill yourself."

Yes. Kill myself.

I opened my eyes, forcing my eyes on Bill, he is still looking towards me. I forced myself to send the last smile I could master. With bravery, I aimed the gun on the side of my head with a sickingly wide smile plastered on my face.

Reikka's playful expression is changed into something hateful.

"What are you doing? Dipper?"

"What do you think? Hahaha-" I laughed with a silly voice. "-I'll kill myself! Suicide! Haha! I don't think neither the two of you will care right? Nobody cares when I'm at this place!" I shouted.

I am scarring myself. I am grinding the gun at the side of my head. I am traumatizing myself. Does it still matter until now? I don't really care! I am just being played by demons and gods! Do they care if I die? No! Of course they wont! Because, they are just playing! Its funny imaging them in a room playing a board game.

And that board game is the humans lives. Humans as the pieces and a dice to be rolled, to tell what action we should do.

"Dipper! Dont you dare do it!"

"Dare me! Dare me, Reikka! NOBODY CARES."

"What about your sister!? Your family!?"

"My family?" I muttered and laughed hugely again. "They are even the first reason why I'm like this! The person I trusted betrayed me so as my sister! Did they apologized? No! They didn't! Because, they didn't cared!" Don't even talk about my parents.

I took shaky breaths in and out as tears kept rolling down on my cheeks. My eyes burns. My head aches. My heart is shattered.

It doesn't matter anymore.

I closed my eyes as Reikka kept yelling at me, how everyone will be depressed once I am dead. Good. I wish they'll regret every inch of the wrong things they had done to me. I wish they will look at each picture of mine and will see my cold corpse on the ground.

Good.

With a trembling finger, my lips tugging another wide smile, I can the corners of my lips tear away and will dye it red, I giggled.

"See you later~"

I pulled the trigger.

*=*

Ces: ...

Words: 1812