Lists | Phan

Six: New Tricks

His Communication and Culture classes had recently started discussing the topic, and Mrs. Hart had lent Phil the book within seconds of seeing the way his eyes lit up with enthusiasm when he asked more in-depth questions.

A person realizes how others see them. They realise what judgments the people surrounding them must be making about them - based on the way they see them and the things that they do. Then that person will begin to form their own identity based on these perceptions of themselves.

"So, if that's true – our perception of our own identities are just based on feedback from others?" Phil had asked in class. "If someone tells you that you're a kind person, you'll go through life thinking that you're a kind person?"

Hart had nodded.

"That's how the theory goes, yeah. There are a bunch of studies, if you wanna do extra reading."

Phil made note of this, and took a deep breath. He made sure to keep his voice even, so no one would suspect anything.

"But what if someone was faking? What if someone actually hated everybody, but was just pretending to be nice to them and tolerate them. They'd get complimented on their kindness all the time, but only they would know what kind of person they really were. What if someone was just manipulating everyone?"

Hart had laughed, and the whole class had found it extremely funny.

Louise had said that it would make an awesome plot for a movie, and Phil had grinned at her, suggesting they make one and get rich off of it.

"That would be interesting, Phil – there aren't any studies yet, obviously. I'm sure those kinds of sociopaths exist though, there are probably a few of them in this university."

Phil had fought down a smirk.

In this kind of society, there must be more than a few people like him. But then, it wasn't like he truly hated everyone – he was actually growing really fond of his group. But it just so happened that if they knew what he was really like, they would definitely hate him. They'd leave him just like everyone else had.

The sound of shuffling feet and chairs being pulled out dragged Phil away from his musings. He leaned back slightly and squinted through the small gap between the top of some books and the shelf above. Phil inwardly groaned. Joey and Dan.

Fuck my life.

Phil turned the page and tried to ignore them. They obviously weren't going to notice him, unless one of them went wandering, so he was safe as long as he was quiet.

Joey's voice soon seeped through the bookcase and into Phil's ears though. He tried to ignore it, he truly did but-

"Dan, you seem really happy recently."

Phil inwardly snorted and the same time Dan outwardly snorted. (No, his heart did not skip a beat at that, of course it didn't.)

Joey corrected himself.

"Well, less than your usual disdain for life, you know?" He giggled lightly.

Phil didn't realise he was straining his ears, or waiting for an answer until Dan spoke – his voice deep and rich as always.

"I guess I've found something really interesting of late."

Phil abandoned the idea of reading his book in peace completely.

What?

Joey echoed Phil's unspoken question, attempting to coax a more elaborate answer. Phil could barely hear the quiet, deep chuckle that Dan emitted – but it still managed to make the hair on the back of his neck stand up on end.