Lists | Phan

Six: New Tricks

Maybe he should fight fire with fire. Fight dirty. Fight like Dan does.

As he teased with the idea his face heated up, abruptly remembering the way Dan's breath had ghosted across his bare skin. He dragged his feet back to his room, mentally noting that learning sexual manipulation was going to be a pretty fucking difficult endeavour if his face started resembling a tomato at the first sign of lewd thoughts.

Not just any lewd thoughts though, only ones about Dan.

As he finally lay back in bed, he started wondering that maybe it would be better to just avoid Dan altogether...

~~~~~~

Two weeks later and avoiding Dan was proving to be absolutely fucking impossible. He was everywhere on campus, and if that wasn't bad enough, he was on Phil's mind constantly too. Of course he still managed to mask his thoughts from his friends, but Phil swore Chris and PJ were starting to notice that something was off with him.

Every time they passed in the corridors, Dan gave him this infuriating knowing look. Or he'd brush past him in the most tantalising way. He'd taunt him and taunt him until Phil was dying to just punch him or kick him or kiss him or something.

And of course, Dan knew. He knew exactly what he was doing. Every move was perfectly calculated. Phil tried his damndest to not give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he affected him, but Dan could obviously tell. The fury that flashed so momentarily through Phil's eyes went unseen by his friends.

Dan saw.

The way he grit his teeth or clenched his fists for a mere second.

Dan noticed.

If Dan were to sweep by him in the corridor; let their shoulders slide together, allow their gazes to fleetingly meet – Dan would feel Phil's body tense. He'd feel his frustration, his anger and his arousal. He'd feel the cracks in Phil's resolve, and he'd search for the real Phil's split-second appearance.

He got what he wanted every time.

The worst thing was that Dan was in the library ridiculously often. Phil used a quiet corner surrounded by high, barely used bookshelves to write his people notes in. He didn't exactly need other students looking over his shoulder when he was picking apart every aspect of the way his "friends" acted in different social situations, so in between classes he concealed himself in this mostly abandoned corner. That part of the library was Phil's campus sanctuary. (Although his room back in the dorms was his main refuge – his notes on various people and to-do lists concerning them were plastered all over his walls. No one was ever allowed into his room. Ever.)

Dan was always sitting with Joey Graceffa on a table near to the bookcase that Phil's hiding place was located behind. Sometimes bits and pieces from their conversation drifted into Phil's unwilling (so willing) ears. Maybe it wasn't even a recent thing; maybe it was more a case of Phil having only just noticed it. But that wasn't the point at all – the point was that they were often forced to make some kind of contact. Be it eye contact, when they walked past each other coming and going, or when Dan wandered searching for a book. Or if Joey spotted him and called him over... Everything culminated in Dan's gaze cutting through Phil's very being, and rage and uncomfortable excitement boiling up from Phil's stomach. It wasn't fair.

Today was a godsend. Phil had greeted the librarian and waltzed to his spot without any trouble. His eyes flicked quickly down each aisle as he made his way to his desk, and there was no sign of Dan or Joey. He sat down and sighed contentedly. Phil pulled out his notebook and his newly acquired book on the theory of the 'Looking-glass Self.'