Strings Attached

~Chapter 3~

"I'm sorry child. But you heard your mum, you can't go. Even if it'd been about going somewhere in the country, I wouldn't have minded. But that is something to which I can't give in." "And get that in your brain," I hear my mother's rejoinder from where she's standing behind him, as if to pour the words in his ear. Now, I'm starting to see red in the periphery of my vision.

"You know what mom?" I hiss at her. "You've always been that enormous hurdle in my path of happiness. Always preventing me from doing anything that ensures my contentment. And now you've got dad on your side too." She is taken aback by the venom in my tone, but I don't care. "The last time I asked for a phone, you had a problem with it. But that's understandable, it was for my own good. And when I asked for a scooter, I remember you being the only one who opposed the idea. Thank god! Dad didn't hear you that time."

"And now that I'm this close from my dreams to come true, you've downright disregarded my pleas. It's like you've become a thorn in my side I can't remove," I scream at her. "Hidayah! Keep it down," she hisses at me. "No, I won't keep it down. Let them all hear what I've to say. I know I can never be like you or Raafiah... in looks, in the subjects she opted for, in the way I carry myself, or the way I am. But at least, I'm your daughter. And that is no way to treat your own child."

"I too have dreams, aspirations, feelings and emotions. My happiness matters too. You can't entirely turn a blind eye to it. You're always severe in your judgement when it comes to me. And I abhor you for the way you always hate me!" "That's enough! You're crossing the line, Hidayah." This time, dad scolds me for my conduct. And I feel something deflate inside myself. "Apologize right now, and go back to your room. Come down only when you're better behaved."

But instead of apologizing, I hurriedly get up from the dining table with a deep scowl on my face. Leaving my food untouched on my plate, I storm upstairs to my room that I share with Raf. But not before I warn them of getting grandma's consent so that they can't stop me. Dadi (grandmother) is my kryptonite. And she'll leave no stone unturned to help me go.

I'm angry beyond description. How dare they act like that?! They should've been proud. But, no. All they did was dispirit me from doing anything that'd make them proud, in the future. Throwing my slippers aside, I get into my bed, and pull the comforter up to my eyes. This should've been a joyous day for me. And on that thought, my anger makes me scream in my pillows.

After about half an hour, I'm still thinking about my outburst. The guilt that has been slowly creeping up to me in this half hour is now overriding all of my other feelings. I shouldn't have said all that. And as I'm thinking along those lines, Raf comes into the room. "You know what Hilda, you were really bad back there," she tells me softly as she busies herself with her books. "I never knew you could be this vocal and ill-mannered."

Something blows off inside me, again. "I'm not here to listen to your long lectures, alright?" I snap, removing the covers off me. "I'm not lecturing you, Hidayah! I'm just trying to make you realize how unjust you were to mum back there." "Of course you'd say that," I comment, just as she says, "And I'm not saying this because she's partial towards me." I let out a long sigh at that.

"Just go and apologize to her, will you?" she tries again. And this time, I'm inclined to stop being my stubborn self and act by her advice. "It won't make you any less human in everybody else's eyes." "What if she snaps at me? Or worse, doesn't say a thing?" "Just bear it thinking that you deserved it. After all, you do." I know that I do. However, it doesn't make me feel any better, listening that out loud. "Okay."

When I get to the kitchen, mom's cleaning up for the day. She sees me come in and scoots towards the other side of the room, far from me. She is silent the whole time. I guess I'll have to begin with whatever I have to say.

"Amma, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say all that---," I hear a harsh sound, and see a palm connect with my cheek. A stinging sensation burns throughout my cheek, making it exceedingly warm. I'm sure it must've gone red.

"Did she just slap me?" Tears come to my eyes at that thought. Neither of my parents have ever hit me. But the contrary of it is right there before my eyes. My mother is glaring at me, hard! Our expressions mirror each other's. Misty eyes and ragged breaths, we glower daggers at each other. "Don't even try to explain. I don't want to listen to anything you have to say," mom tells me, her tone harsh, like the slap she gave me.

I can't control my heart from bursting in pain. I merely came to ask for her forgiveness. But she hit me in return. And just like that, my anger returns. "Fine," I say through clenched teeth as tears run down my face. If she hates me so much, why didn't she just smother me at my first cry? Why let me live? I shouldn't even have felt guilty in the first place. Everything I said was true. Cutting, but true nonetheless. Maybe, I should've preferred to keep quiet, as always. It's better that I avoid talking to her. And I make a vow there and then to not speak to her again.

Consequently, running up to my room, I curl up into a ball on my bed, and cry myself to sleep. 

--------AUTHOR'S NOTE--------

Hey guysss, back with another chapter. Sorry :( I was kinda busy hence the late update. Anyway, don't forget to vote n comment....

Next will be Daniyal's POV, hopefully up by Sunday :)

Let's make a deal guys... if you make the vote count reach 15 on this chapter, and 50 in total, I'll surely put up the chappy by Sunday, In Shaa Allaah. Do try to vote on all chapters n ensure that your friends know about this book. So long then. 

Cheers,

~Amenah <3