Saviour

Alone Part 29

If I could only of told 13 year old me how wrong she was that just 10 years later she would be sat around the same barbecue at the same house looking across at 25 year old Liam McAllister who was seated next to the gorgeous brown eyed American I was hopelessly in love with.

"You'll be glad to get back home soon and see your wife then Joe?" Fallon asked as she poked at the ashes of the fire with a stick. Joe nodded eagerly "Aw yeah this has been great but I'll see my Beautiful Bessy my dogs and my beautiful new Son or daughter quite soon" he smiled as he thought of his soon to be extended family back home. As childish and impractical as Joe Gatto could be I knew he would make an amazing father he was such a nice guy and cared so much about everyone.

"We should all have a few drinks in the pub tomorrow night to see the boys off" Eamon rubbed his hands together followed by a hoot of approval from everyone else.

"Apollo sir, you game?" Liam shouted. My brother was sat separated from the group with his lyric notebook on his lap writing furiously biting his lip and sucking the blood as he concentrated. Apollo must have had a box full of the same type of notebooks dog eared and worn out from his composing over the years he loved nothing more than writing music and poetry.

"I think he's nervous about the gig" I whispered to the group

"I'm not nervous" Apollo roared not taking his eyes off his writing "I'm just....anxious"

Murr gave a laugh "That's the same thing isn't it?"

"Another beer anyone?" I asked getting to my feet to head inside and open a new case Sal gave a nod holding up his empty bottle "Q, what about you?" I smiled at him but he didn't even look at me "yeah I guess" he shrugged petting at Bartlebys fur, he had been weird with me all night he didn't sit beside me didn't wrap his arms around me or call me his pretty lady. I was surrounded by family but I couldn't have felt more alone.

I stood in the kitchen lost in a day dream I was so conflicted, It started with me then there was Brian, there was my home, there was my career, there was family and but there was freedom. I was torn between so many different paths.

I wandered into the sitting room a picture of my smiling Mother sat above the fireplace I reached out and stroked the glass frame "Oh mammy, I wish you could tell me what to do" I sighed sitting down at the dusty old piano I'm pretty sure this thing was older than disco pants but it remained a fixed piece of our home. Every Christmas without fail we would gather round singing and laughing I would play and Mama, Fallon and Apollo would sing on Christmas eve Mr McAllister and his boys would come around bringing bags of presents and a basket full of mince pies from the housekeepers at the McAllister home, and every Christmas without fail small little Apollo sized bites would be found in the pastries leaving the filling he didn't like inside.

I ran my fingers along the keys tapping lightly on them I hadn't played in years the only songs I did remember where from my big book of Disney music I got for my 7th birthday I would spend hours forcing everyone to listen to concert after concert of me playing the same songs. I have a laugh clearing my throat. My fingers danced on the white keys the room felt somewhat alive again

Should I choose the smoothest course?

Steady as the beating drum

Should I marry kocoum?

Is all my dreaming at an end?

Or do you still wait for me dreamgiver?

Just around the riverbend...

I giggled and smiled at myself for relating so much to a Pocahontas song, it was ridiculous but true. I shuffled through the box of sheet music at my feet dog eared and coffee stained over the years settling on a page that looked easy enough.

All I want is nothing more

To hear you knocking at my door

Cause if I could see your face once more

I could die a happy woman I'm sure

When you said your last goodbye

I died a little bit inside

I lay in tears in bed all night

Alone without you by my side

But if you loved me

Why'd to leave me

Take my body

Take my body

All I want is

And all I need is

To find somebody

I'll find somebody like you

So you brought out the best of me,

A part of me I've never seen

You took my soul and wiped it clean

Our love was made for movie screens.

All I want is

And all I need is

To find somebody

Like you.

"What if I don't want you to find somebody else?" a voice from the doorway caused me to turn around.