Gone

Welcome Home

"Welcome home Baby Girl." My father smiled opening the front door for me to step in. I used to love this house, it was my favorite place in the world. I was to tired to correct him, the ten hour plane ride had worn me out. I gabbed my bags and made my way up stairs, I pulsed in front of my old bedroom door it had pictures of my old friends and teen r&b singers at that time. I opened the door and my room was exactly the way I had left it that night. Except the bed was made and the clothes that were all tossed around were now cleaned up. The walls were still pink, it used to be my favorite color. I don't have one of those anymore. I tossed my bags on the floor and fell on my old twin size bed, laughing at my current situation. This was my childhood, a period in my life I was meant to enjoy, but that was all taken from me because I forced to grow up at a young age. my mind drifted back to Germany to the times when my mom would leave and work at the club with Aunt Michelle all night leaving me to cook meals for both Greg and I. When she would return sometimes she would be to drunk to take care of herself. Greg would shake his head and leave her lying on the living room floor.

"You think your better than me." She yelled at me as I tried to help her to the bathroom. "Everything was always about Brianna, you got all the attention." She pushed me against the wall and smacked me. "Your such a little bitch Brianna, no wonder why your dad didn't want you."  She had smacked me countless of times for reminding her of my Dad. Greg tried to protect me but he wasn't around all the time.

I woke up to the smell of fried chicken, one of my favorite foods. Climbing out of bed I made my way down stairs and towards the kitchen. Charles was too busy slaving away at the stove to notice me watching him. He lifted the lids and I smelt Sweet potatoes and collard greens. Opening the stove I saw Macaroni and Cheese and Corn Bread. My stomach started growling, It had been a long time since I'd eaten like that.

"Are you just goanna  stare at me or are you going to help me make this cake." Charles  turned and smiled at me.

"Where's Josh?" I wasn't in the mood to be left alone with the man that gave me up.

"He had to go in to work for a moment, he should be right back. Can we talk?"

"Thiers nothing to talk about." I opened the cake box and poured the powder into a bowl.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No." I broke three eggs and added the oil.

"Brianna you mother's dead, I know that has to hurt."

"People die everyday Charles." I turned on the hand mixer.

"Dad."

"What?"

"I'm your Dad, Brianna I want to be called Dad." He gave me a stern look.

"Well i'm Bria, and I want to be called that. So until you can, your Charles." I turned off the mixer and walked out of the kitchen.

Slamming the door to my bed room I needed some kind of release. I felt so out of place here, the walls were closing in on me. I wanted to feel happy and refresh, feel free from pain. I laid on my bed and pulled my pants down, it had been a long time since I did this. Greg had bought me some toys to help with my little addiction. I bit my bottom lip and slip two fingers into my moist folds, moaning from the first touch. My fingers moved in and out causing me to close my eyes. I needed this release, to survive the rest of this day. I jumped as I hard a knock on my bedroom door. "Brianna." Josh's voice came from the other side of the door. "Dinner's ready." I mentally cursed getting up from the bed. "I'll be right down." I replied going into my private bathroom, to wash up, I guess i'll be happy later.

Dinner was placed on the table when I got down stairs, Charles and Josh were having a deep conversation about bottle designs and marketing while I fixed my plate. They stop talking and started to pray. I looked at my plate and started eating.