Back To Hell

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August 30th.

Or as Patrick Stump called it, the first day back to hell. He didn't even get why school had to start at the end of August. That was so stupid. Why not just wait until September? Did the school system really have to take the last two days of August? They couldn't give up one more fucking month? Christ!

"Don't look so down in the dumps, hun." His mother smiled at him from the front seat of the car. "It's your senior year."

"Yeah." His father agreed. "This is your chance to go out with a bang."

"This isn't some teen coming of age movie." Patrick grumbled. "I'm still the awkward, fat kid who no one likes. That's not going to change just because I'm in a different grade."

"Oh, Patrick honey. You're not fat or awk- You're not fat."

"Thanks a lot mom." He didn't bother to cover up the sarcasm.

"Maybe you wouldn't be so awkward if you'd actually try talking to people."

"Yeah." His father agreed with his mother yet again. "Try to make a few friends."

"Yeah, because that's so freaking easy. I could make friends without a problem! I choose to be a lonely fucking loser!"

He grabbed his book bag. Pushing the door open harder than necessary. He didn't wait to hear what his parents had to say. They just really didn't get it.

They must think there was a line of people waiting at his locker, applying to be his new best friend. When in reality, no student liked him. Literally none of them. And he didn't think the teachers were so sold on him either.

He tried to make friends. He tried to talk to people and fit in. But after years of trying and being rejected, teased and beat up, you just kinda fucking quit.

Middle school was so much easier. Everyone was friends with everyone. You didn't have to try to be someone you weren't to fit in. Dirt eater Mikey was totally cool. Kim with the freckles was everyone's friend. Jason with the girl hair was wildly accepted. Even booger eating Samantha was invited to birthday parties.

But highschool was meaner. It changed people for the worse. Dirt eater Mikey was now Football Mikey. Who'd beat Patrick up for looking at him too long. Kim with the freckles was now beauty guru Kimmy. Who wore tons of makeup every day to cover those adorable freckles. Jason with the girl hair was now stoned Jason. Everyone's favorite weed supplier. And booger eating Samantha traded booger eating for dick sucking. Now, Patrick wasn't saying she was a whore, but she'd had more guys than she'd had test in highschool.

Being unique was like having a target on your face. And everyone else - all the conformist - were the ones with the guns ready to shoot. Everyone changed. Everyone was different, except Patrick. In middle school Patrick was fat Patrick. And in highschool, Patrick was still just fat Patrick.

Now don't get him wrong, there was nothing wrong with changing if it made you happier. Or hell, even changing to make people like you. If Patrick could change, he would! He'd tried before. One summer he decided to lose weight and come back as thin, cool Patrick. But he just ended up getting sick and going to the hospital from taking too many diet pills. He didn't have the will power to diet and exercise. So he was doomed to a life of staying the same.

"Hey, Fat Pat!"

He ignored the call and continued walking to his locker. The same one he'd had for three years. Even his fucking locker didn't change.

He began twisting in the new lock code he'd gotten last week at the start of the year gathering. The satisfying click sound of the lock opening was followed by the sound of a fist slamming into his locker. Two inches away from his head. He spun around and came face to face with Mikey. Yes, the same one who used to taste mud for snack.

"What do you want, Mikey?"

"You didn't hear me calling you, fat Pat?" He grabbed the neck of his hoodie.

"I did hear you say fat Pat. But that's not my name."

"Oh, yeah?" He laughed. "Then what is your name?"

"Patrick." He muttered.

"You hear that guys?" Mikey called out into the crowded hallway. Attracting the attention of his other football idiot friends.

"What's that, Mikey?" Gerard walked up behind him.

"Fat Pat here says his name isn't Fat Pat anymore."

"Oh yeah?" Frank was suddenly on the other side of him. "Then what's your name?"

"He says it's Patrick." Mikey laughed again as he told them.

"Patrick?" Meagan, the head cheerleader walked up. She used to be Meagan with the braces and glasses. "I think I like Fat Pat better."

"Maybe we should punch him until he remembers his real name?" There were so many people surrounding them that Patrick couldn't even see who said it.

"Come on guys. It's the first day of school." Elisa's small voice parted through the crowd. "Do you really want to be suspended because of this loser?"

"She's right." Mikey yanked his hand away. "This loser is not worth it. If I get suspended again, I'm permanently off the team."

Patrick watched as the crowd of bullies slowly walked away. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. Still trying to work off the fear of almost getting his ass kicked.

He turned back to his locker and lifted the lock off. Swinging the door open and realizing he had no books to put in there. He hadn't even gone to a class yet. He slammed it shut and internally screamed. He could have avoided that whole situation.

"Good going, jackass." He mumbled to himself.

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