Nothing Can Keep Us Apart

Chapter Ten: Nightmares

When we got home, it was around 5 in the evening. I was starving, but I didn't say that to April. Missing one meal couldn't hurt... I'd just pick up some food tomorrow morning. April sat on the bed with me and told me about the rules of how she had to exist. She told me once she chose to move on, there was no coming back. Not even for visits.

"You can never come back?" I asked in shock. She shook her head no.

"Chris, you'll probably have found love somewhere else by the time I'm gone." She said sadly.

"I will NEVER love anyone like I love you." I growled angrily. Why couldn't she understand that?!

"Chris, I don't want you to mourn over me for the rest of your life. Be happy, make a family. Think about me, but don't keep holding on. You have to let me go." She said. I pulled her to my chest.

"April, when you're gone I'll just hold you closer. No other female will ever catch my eye. Only you." I said.

"But-"

"Look at it this way. No other man can see you, right? Just me, because I love you. Think of it the other way around. I can't see any female. Except for you. Because I don't love them. I love you, and I will always love YOU. No one else." I said. She looked like she finally believed me, but tears filled her eyes.

"Chris, I can't move on if I know that's how badly you'll be hurt." She sobbed.

"Then don't move on." I said.

"You know I have to. Chris... As my last wish for you, promise me you'll let go. Please." She begged, clutching my shirt.

"April you know how much I want you to be happy, but I can't promise you that." I said.

"Chris-"

"Shhh." I said, pressing a finger to her lips.

"Let's not talk about it. Not yet." I said softly. She nodded her head in agreement, and we found other things to talk about. We began reminiscing over what we used to do when we were sixteen. When she was still alive... When the only worries we had was the fact that our parents could find out about us. Of course that never happened, but compared to our current situation, it would've been nothing. Even if her parents had banned us from seeing each other again, at least she would still be on the earth. Safe. Healthy.

When she started thinking about the times when she was alive, she began to cry. I didn't notice it at first, but when she leaned on my shoulder I could feel her tears staining my shirt. I just rubbed her back like I always did, and soon she stopped. Every day was filled with crying now. Crying, pain, loss... No matter how much we said we wouldn't talk about it, we still thought about it. And thinking about it always brought on a fresh wave of pain. Pain I didn't want. Pain I didn't need. How could I make all the pain go away?

APRIL POV

Later that night when it was time for bed, I snuggled up to Chris and kissed him repeatedly until I fell asleep. I had peaceful dreams that night. They weren't really dreams, they were just memories. Happy memories with Chris. But even those memories made me cry, because we could never be like that again. Happy, carefree, alive. I just had to go and ruin everything by dying. And making that stupid promise to him. If I hadn't made the promise, I would've moved on and I wouldn't have to be here right now, crying my eyes out over him. But that would've been selfish. How would he have felt if I suddenly disappeared and never talked to him again, never saw him again... The memories I was dreaming of suddenly turned to dark nightmares. Chris holding my hand, begging for me to stay while my image faded... Him sobbing in a corner, all alone while I was gone. I was helpless, unable to save him from above. I couldn't even talk to him, and I hoped he wouldn't hurt himself. Then, my worst nightmare of all began.

Chris was sitting on the bed, staring at nothing in particular with a dead look on his face. A shiny black gun was in his hands, and he was twirling it around, as if pondering it. He was mourning my loss, but he couldn't take the pain. He raised the gun slowly and put the barrel in his mouth, pulling the trigger. I heard the sound of the gunshot, and I screamed as loud as I could. I woke up still screaming and Chris pulled me against his chest, rocking me back and forth and trying to calm me down.

"It was just a dream." He was saying over and over again. Yes, it was just a dream. But it was realistic, and it had the full potential to happen.

"Chris, when I'm gone promise me you won't hurt yourself." I said loudly, still hiding my face in his chest.

"What? Is that what this is all about?" He asked.

"Just promise me." I whispered. He sighed.

"I promise April. I willnever...intentionally...hurt myself." He said. He was making loopholes! When I was gone, he would find some way to come with me... I could see it in his head. He was planning this out. I shuddered as the image of the gun reappeared in my mind. No... I never wanted him to do that. Ever.