ᗷE TᕼE ᗰOTᕼEᖇ TO ᗰY ᑕᕼIᒪᗪ

Chapter 2

REHAN'S POV

I picked him up from Ahmadi Daycare Center, as usual.  It was a long day plus the wind outside is so harsh that I caught cold. I've been sneezing for hours now. I'm trying to keep Izyan away from me so that I don't spread the cold to him. 

"My baby Izyan is back is he?!" Mom exclaimed with a babyish tone as she walked up to me to take Izyan from my arms.

Izyan is apparently the only soul that keeps our family alive.  But he himself lacks a mother's love. I don't know if I can give him both a mother's and a father's love. But I am trying my best. Yet a mother is a mother and his was gone. 

Mom suggests that I get married to move on.  But I find it ridiculous.  I have a hundred different reasons to not get married.  Plus I have a son I gotta raise.  Such train of thoughts take me back to when Mariam was with me.  It reminds me of how bad I wished Mariam lived today. To see our child grow into a fine young man and a great Muslim. There was that and then there was my loneliness.  There's always something missing in me. Like a vacant space.  Sometimes it becomes hard to breathe. That's how bad I miss her. At times, I can't even believe that she doesn't exist anymore.  She was too young to die, which instantly reminds me that there's no age for death. It's whenever He calls that you have to go.  She wasn't here anymore. And my life no more feels enjoyable.  Sometimes it's okay, again sometimes it hurts really bad.  But the only thing I can do now is to pray to Allah SWT for my Mariam to be forgiven and granted Jannah.

"Ya Allah. Rehan!" I hear mom call me from downstairs while I changed into my casual clothes.

"What's wrong Ma?" I asked as I made my way downstairs.

"Izyan has caught cold, my poor baby" Mom says wrapping him up with all the warm clothes she could find.

Crap. He caught the cold anyway. I was trying not to get close to him but he still gets the cold. 

Hours later, Izyan is asleep now. Mom gave him some medicines for cold and put him to sleep. It was getting quite late, but I have my report to prepare to take it to office tomorrow. My cold was still bad.  I was still maintaining distance from Izyan since I didn't want his cold to worsen.  It's 1 in the morning and I'm just minutes away from completing the report.  My eyes don't seem to be able to keep up with me. They were forcing shut.  This reminded me of my high school and college days.  Those nights I stayed up late to finish assignments.  I was so glad after graduation that I wouldn't have to do all this again but oh well.  Life is pretty hard. And for me, it's harder.

I couldn't hold it any longer because my eyes were starting to burn out of sleep.  So I put away everything and went to bed.  I will have to wake up at 7. So that makes 6 hours of sleep.

While falling asleep I think of Izyan.  The last time he caught a cold, it was bad. He even had fever. It got me worried. Mom has done everything she could. My mom is very weak. I would've been able to leave Izyan with her while I worked. But because she was so weak that she needed someone to take care of her for herself. How could she be able to babysit Izyan? That's why I admitted him to Ahmadi Daycare. It was a very good daycare center and the fact that it's an Islamic daycare center, made it even more wonderful.  I have noticed Izyan to be very happy there as well. Izyan really loves sister Layyah.  I heard that she couldn't take care of any other kids because him.  I kind of feel sorry for that but she seemed okay with it.  She's very motherly at a very young age.

All these thoughts piled up and vanished as they blurred leaving me sleeping.