Dan Howell Imagines

You Mean Something

NOTE: some self-harm tendencies and depression at the beginning. nothing too bad though! Also, this assumes you and Dan went to high school together... enjoy :) (set in 2008)

You lay on your bed, headphones on and your iPod blasting Fall Out Boy as loud as your ears will allow, tears running down your cheeks. Thoughts run through your mind at high speed.

Ugly, stupid, nerd, geek, loser, never going to mean anything to anyone, no one will ever love me, no one cares about me...

And so much more. It was the worst you've ever felt. Everything in your life seems to be going downhill, and somehow you knew that most of these things were lies, but still you believed it. The taunting words from the preppy high-school girls played through your mind and wouldn't leave.

Your long time best friend Dan had multiple times taken you aside and told you that you shouldn't listen, but it didn't help at all. Part of the problem being that he was always just your friend... You wanted to be so much more, and the "mean girls" knew that...

"He'll never love someone like you! Plain, ordinary, simple you!"

10 years... 10 YEARS!! this is how long the taunting had been going on... Ever since you were a kid, you have been a target. That one person people loved to put down, taunting you mercilessly. No one there to help... no one.

Finally you couldn't take it anymore. You ripped your headphones off, and ran to the kitchen, all the while tears streaming down your cheeks. You make your way to the cutlery drawer and open it. You take out the knife. Fresh tears stream down your cheeks. You had promised yourself it would never come to this, but you just couldn't take it. Maybe it would help... You put the knife to your arm.

"(y/n)!" You whirl around, to see standing before you a very shocked Dan Howell. You both stand there for a few silent moments. "I can't Dan!" you say, your voice breaking. "I just can't anymore! I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough! Nobody cares... Nobody will ever want me, especially you..." your voice fades and you cover your face with your hands, sobbing. Suddenly you feel warm hands covering yours, and Dan gently taking the knife out of your hands. Then he puts the knife on the table. He takes both of your hands away from your face. You look at the floor, not wanting to see his expression. He cups your face in his hands, and tilts it up towards him. You look into his soft, brown eyes, that were now filled with sadness. "Why would you ever not feel good enough?" he asks. "Because I'm not. I'm not good enough for anyone" you say. A new emotion fills his eyes.. But, it couldn't be... You look at his face. He looked, hurt. Suddenly he became very serious. He grabs your shoulders and holds you at arms length, staring at you intently. "Don't you ever say that again, do you hear me?"

"Why?" you asked. "Because you ARE good enough." he says. "How do you know?" you ask, starting to feel angry. He was clueless, once again, oblivious to your feelings. Dan lets go of you. "I just do!" He says. "How, Dan? HOW?" you almost yell at him. He runs his hand through his fringe and looks at you. "Because... I love you."

There you go! My first imagine!! I hope you liked it! Leave suggestions in the comments for more imagines....