How to Not Make a Pizza

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1: Open the box.

2: Put the ingredients on the table.

3: Take the dough.

4: Stuff a handful in your mouth.

5: Spit it out.

6: Cover it in pink glitter glue.

7: Shave your head.

8: Wrap your hair in the dough.

9: Put it in the oven, set at 2 degrees Kelvin.

10: Take the cheese.

11: Gently place it on the floor.

12: Place an orange on top of it.

13: Lay down next to it.

14: Seductively whisper squirrel puns to it.

15: Pour lavender-scented shampoo on just the orange, not the cheese. If you get any on the cheese, the cheese must be fed to a cactus and replaced.

16: Tape the orange and cheese to your head.

17: Open the packet of tomato sauce.

18: Pour it on your face.

19: Cosplay as Reddy McRedface.

20: You did not make a pizza. Congratulations.


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