teenagers

0.7

it had been maybe two weeks since i was released from hospital. i was finally happy with myself but everyone else seemed disappointed with me. everyday i was faced with people constantly bugging me to eat.

even maxxie seemed to care about me. shocker i know.

so far cassie had become my favourite friend. i know i should probably say chris is since he lives with me but cassie is trhe only one who doesnt constantly bother me aabout food and insist i eat everything in sight. she'll try once, maybe twice, then she'll leave it and change the subject. she's the only one that lets me decide when i want to eat.

"lucy please just eat quarter of the sandwich." chris begged.

"i'm not hungry chris." i replied and pushed the plate away form me.

"please lucy, your underweight by a lot and you need to be healthy again." noah interjected.

"i don't care. i'm not hungry so i'm not going to eat. end of." i tried to stand up but maxxie held me down.

"you're going to eat something. you need to eat." he said firmly.

"i don't need to eat anything. and since when did you care. weren't you the one that said i was too fat to be anorexic. weren't you the one that left me crying in a park. you don't get a say in anything maxxie, not anymore." 

"guys just leave her alone. she clearly doesn't want to eat the sandwich so don't make her." cassie said. i flashed her a small smile as thanks for being on my side. "lucy why don't you try eat a small fruit salad. no dressings or liquids. only two or three slices of each fruit. there's barely any calories in it." she offered.

"okay. i'm not guaranteeing all of it will be eaten but i'll try" i said.

"okay, boys start cutting up an apple, grapes, pineapple, strawberries and any other fruit like that" cassie ordered.

"thanks cass" i said to her.

"no problem. i just want you to get better, force feeding you food with a lot of calories won't do that." cassie said simply.

"i know, why can't they understand that i complained.

"they're idiots for the most part. they don't know what it's like to know someone with anorexia or to have it yourself" she explained.

"wait did you ever have-" i was interupted by the boys.

"we're done" they all called out.

"it looks fancy as hell. enjoy" noah said.

cassie and i laughed at the boys as they dramatically pointed towards the fruit salad that actually looked quite nice.

"thank you boys" cassie said.

i grabbed a fork and began to eat. i had two slices of apple, one grape, one strawberry, a raspberry, a blackberry and none of the pineapple.

"i think i'm done" i said as i placed the fork into the bowl.

"but you barely ate anything" maxxie complained.

"shut up maxxie. she's done her best and that's all we care about right now." chris snapped.

"do you feel like purging?" cassie asked.

"not really, i feel like i could if i tried but i don't feel psychically sick from eating" i answered.

"yay!" noah said with a small jump and fist bump.

"chris your boyfriend is a massive dork" i said.

"i know" he said happily before kissing noah's cheek.

"pda people. get a room" maxxie said.

"hush, you're just jealous because i can actually keep a relationship." chris said in a joking voice, although we all knew he was being serious.

chris had held a grudge since the day maxxie left me at the park and he never let it go, no matter how much i told him i was fine.

"if you have something to say chris, spit it out" maxxie said cockily.

"i think you're a fucking asshole who never deserved lucy. you're a dick for leaving her crying in a park. you called her fat when she's the complete opposite when you knew she was anorexic. what for? why did you do all of that to her? was it to make your twisted heart happy. did seeing somone else break down in front of you bring you joy? you're disgusting maxxie. fucking disgucting." chris said angrily,  breathing heavily to calm himself down.

"fuck you chris. at least i'm not a fucking faggot like you" maxxie snapped.

"there we go again! you insult people instead of actually doing something to defend yourself. cslling me a 'fucking faggot' isn't going to hurt me. do you honestly think it's never happened before. do you think you're going to make me cry by saying two words. if you do you're fucking wrong maxxie. so fucking wrong." chris said with an angry laugh. "just tell us why you do these things. that's all we want to know" 

"you really want to know why?" maxxie said, his face red with anger. "i don't want to get hurt. i don't want to get close to people because i know they'll leave me. i'm do this so that i know i have control over who hurts me." he voice wavered at the end, weakening with every word.

we all stared at maxxie in shock, not sure what we could possibly say.

"that's fucking why" he said as he walked out of my house, slamming the door behind him.

:-)