Worth the Wait [A Pocket Full of Hearts]

Worth the Wait

"Fifteen years na kitang hinahanap"

Fourteen years old ako nung una kong marinig yan. Yes, fourteen pa lang ako nun. Third year high school, to be specific. Kaya simula noon, pinag-isipan kong mabuti yun. Nagsimula akong maniwala sa soulmates at naniwala akong siya na nga ang destined guy for me. Sinimulan ko na rin bilangin ang mga taon, kung kailan ba ako dapat magsimulang magbilang at kung kailan matatapos, hindi ko alam. Basta nagbilang lang ako. Ang tanga ko lang. Ang tanga ko para pag-isipan at pag-aksayahan pa ng panahon yung bagay na'yon. Paano ba naman kasi, ang nagsabi nun eh yung ultimate crush ko lang naman nung elementary. Sino ba namang engot ang babalewalain lang yun, diba? Pero ang tanga ko talaga. Ang tanga ko para maniwala at umasa sa isang panaginip.

Oo, panaginip lang ang lahat. Panaginip lang na hinahanap ako ng ultimate crush ko. Pero ever since that dream, I started to have constant dreams of him. Dreams where he confesses his love for me, pero ako, todo iwas. Weird nga eh. Kasi it is a complete opposite of what's happening in reality. Ako naman kasi talaga yung dead na dead sa kanya. Ang labo. Masyado akong pinaglalaruan ng subconscious mind ko. Since then, I expected and I waited. I'm sorry, but I just happen to have the most stupid heart among all the hearts.

I've waited for years. I've waited till the whole of my college life only to realize that I have been waiting for nothing. Then, I found him on a social networking site, facebook. I didn't have the courage to add him up as a friend that time. But when I have gathered all the guts to click on that "Add as Friend" button, and he confirmed, all of my hopes shattered. Because there, I found out that he's got himself a very beautiful girlfriend. Stupid me, tiningnan ko pa talaga yun, knowing that I'm not yet ready for that. But life goes on, and I have to move on as well. I told myself, "those dreams meant nothing; those dreams are just the manifestations of your subconscious desire to be with him." After that, I stopped counting, I stopped waiting, and I went on with my life and decided to forget all those dreams.

Now, I'm 27, I've got an awesome job as an English teacher on my Alma Mater, St. Claire Academy, and adviser of the school paper I was once in. I still haven't got a boyfriend. Yes, NBSB pa rin ako.

"Ma'am Amber, ready na po yung Audio Visual Room for the Press Con, andun na rin po yung mga participants. Naghihintay na po sila." Sheena, the school paper's editor-in-chief told me. Ngayon yung School-based Press Conference namin, dito namin kukunin yung mga lalaban for the Division Schools Press Con, and hopefully we get a spot on the Regionals and of course, sa Nationals na rin. And being the adviser, I was tasked to give the opening remarks.

"Sige, susunod na ako" I said as I stood up and arranged my stuffs on my table. Then, I went out of the headquarters.

"Good morning, everyone! Welcome to our annual School-based Press Conference. I want to thank you all for participating into this Press Conference. I believe each and every one of you has the potential to be student journalists. So I'm expecting all of you to do all your best. This press conference isn't just for competition; it also aims to develop camaraderie among all the students who are here to participate. I hope this will bring you closer to one another and we'll all be good friends after. If you need help or anything, regarding this event, feel free to approach us, okay?" I said and I began to give the participants tips and pointers on how to be an effective student journalist.

Nag-invite kami ng ilang former student journalists ng SCA Gazette, our school journal, as speakers for this two-day event. Isa-isa nang nagdatingan ang mga speakers for today's categories: News, Feature, Editorial and Sports Writing, while tomorrow's categories will be Editorial Cartooning, Photojournalism and Broadcasting which will be discussed by another set of speakers. Nag-umpisa nang mag-discuss yung speakers habang ako ay nasa likuran lang at nag-o-observe. It was in the middle of the discussion in Sports writing when Sheena approached me.