Sincerely Connor Joel Franta

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Dear boy that's loving him now,

He is gorgeous, stunning even, but he doesn't know it, he will look at his body like its the most disgusting thing in the entire world, he will stare at his face in disgust, he'll point out everything that's wrong with him, he will try to skip meals, he will try and not go out in public because his 'face is too ugly'. This doesn't happen everyday, but the days it does, make sure he eats, make sure he knows how beautiful he is, he deserves to know how stunning and perfect he is.

His depression/ anxiety sometimes gets the better of him, he will lock himself away for days maybe even weeks and just cry or look at the walls, he won't shower, he won't eat, he will have multiple panic attacks a day, he will scream he will tell you to leave him and find someone better, on these days or weeks, make sure he showers, make sure he changes his clothes, make sure he knows your always going to be there, make sure you are home to check up on him, and if he's having a panic attack run to get some water have a vanilla candle lit and just hold him, run your hands through his hair, kiss his forehead, just make sure he's okay.

He is very family orientated which means, multiple Skypes to home phone calls, trips, everything, he will never miss an important holiday, he will only miss one birthday, even then he will send them the most expensive gift to make up for him not being there, so please remember this, Family comes first no matter how much he loves you,

His music is everything to him,
It's what makes him happy,
It's what calms him, when he's writing his music and closes the door, leave him, but make sure he eats and gets enough to drink, make sure he takes breaks, but just don't keep going in and distracting him, it drives him insane. Before a concert his nerves will run wild, he will start freaking out, pacing, maybe even a few tears will be shed, but just calm him down, hold him, tell him it's going to be okay, calm him, put him at ease.

There are going to be days where he just wants to sit on the couch with you in an over sized sweaters & sweats, with some of his favourite chick flicks, ordering pizza, eating a full jar of Nutella. No matter how much you want to go out and party or get dinner, stay with him, hold him, watch his favourite movies, because those are the moments you want to hold onto, the way he looks with his hair all flopped over his face and the goofiest smile on his face when his favourite part comes on, are the memories that'll stick with you.

Spinning off my last statement, he loves going out, weather that's to one of his friends movie premieres, or an event, or maybe just a cute little dinner date, he loves dressing up in tuxes and buying the finest wine talking like a complete posh  fool, or maybe just waking him up at a ridiculous time to take him on an impromptu beach walk or vacation or road trip.

He gets overwhelmed, sometimes the fans they overwhelm him not matter how much he loves them, or the deadlines he has wear him down, or how he gets so homesick that all he wants to do is cry, he gets frustrated about how overwhelmed he gets, and some days he just needs you, so be there, maybe even plan a trip home, make him text his manager and tell her to push the deadline  back a day or 3, and tell him to log off for a day and just go somewhere where he can just relax and write maybe even film a video, just make sure the overwhelmed days are the ones that turn into the most happy relaxing days he has ever had.

I'm not too sure on what else I can say, I don't want to spoil the beautiful mystery that is troye Sivan for you, but I also just want to keep writing about him, telling you how to take care of him, how to make him happy, but the thing is, that's half the fun of new love, finding out what he likes, and what makes him happy, but also maybe I would still have him if I knew how to 100 percent make him happy.

I might miss my flight but I need to say this, please don't hurt him, please don't make him sit up late at night wondering what he did wrong, please don't make those blue eyes filled with innocence crumble into nothingness. please don't do what I did, please don't hurt him because you got a little too drunk and made the biggest mistake of your life with some boy that won't mean anything to you the next day, because lord knows it's going to hurt you even months later.

I guess this goodbye

Sincerely Connor Joel Franta the one who loved him first, the one who hurt him first.
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I put the envelope in the paper getting out of the car taping it to troye's door quickly making my way back to the car, the uber driver finding there way to the airport, I'm going back home to Minnesota, who knows maybe one day I will be able to return to my LA home, maybe one day I will be able to hear his name without my heart skipping a beat and my eyes lighting up, maybe one day I will be able to return to my LA apartment and not have a wave of hurt wash over my chest as I remember all the memories, some good, some bad.

And as I'm the plane is taking off, I can't help but think, although I may have not been the love his life he sure was mine and right now all I need is time and space.

*•*•*•The end*•*•*•

Hey ya'll I've writing fanfictions on and off but like I worked hard on this one and I'm kinda proud of how it turned out. Also let me know if you want me to have troye and Connors back story and to how Connor felt he needed to write the note... Basically make it a full Fanfiction,

Follow me on the Twitter- @troyesflowiess