Vårdslös ~ Bellamy Blake [2]

XXIX: Heal

Monty was... Well, still Monty. The only change in him was the guilt he felt for being an unknowing accomplice to his best friend's girlfriend's murder. And then there was Jasper himself, who wasn't fairing well at all. He had Monty there for him, but he was still acting cold, somewhat blaming him for Maya's death. Rae had sometimes gotten through to him, but as soon as he realized what she was doing, his walls would go straight back up and he would pretend like she didn't even exist.

No one knew of Clarke's whereabouts, they didn't even know if she was still alive, but they didn't ever bring it up. Carter was saddened that she never had the chance to say goodbye to their former leader, but she understood why Clarke left.

No one had heard a word from the the crew that went to find the City of Light either, but no one really brought that up either.

Octavia was fighting her ass off, all day everyday. She was often hunting or with the Grounders doing Grounder-y things, or she was with Lincoln. No one really saw much of her. Carter only really saw her when she was teaching the engineer how to fight properly-- which she was slowly getting the hang of.

And then, of course, there was Carter. Out of everyone who was broken in that camp, she was the worst. But no one was any wiser. With her forcefully positive attitude and false happiness, anyone would have thought she was back to her old hopeful, optimistic self.

And they couldn't have been more wrong.

"Should you not being getting ready for the party?"

Carter rolled her eyes and turned around, staring flatly at Finn. "Yes, let me just go put on my best party dress."

"You know what I mean." He scoffed, nudging her shoulder lightly. She couldn't feel it, but she decided to not focus on that.

"I should probably get in there before my dad wonders where I am." She murmured, walking towards the Ark.

This was how she was coping. She wasn't. For three weeks, she had been lying to everyone and she didn't even care. It was a side effect, she believed, the dulling of emotions. It was what made it easier for her to pretend.

As she walked into the room full of the Ark survivors, she tried to not focus on Finn, who was stood beside her. They wouldn't understand, she told herself, they'd just think she was crazy.

"There's my little girl." Her dad greeted her with a wide smile as he hopped off the makeshift podium. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." She grinned, kissing her father on the cheek.

"Bellamy and your friends are over there, as soon as you're seated I'll get this show started." Kane smiled sweetly at her and Carter resisted the urge to groan. She could think of a thousand other places she'd rather be than a room full of people, listening to a speech meant for motivation and encouragement.

She'd rather just skip straight to the shots.

She sat beside Steven and Bellamy, smiling at her friends. They were in the mess hall, which had been rearranged so there was four lines of tables, allowing for everyone to sit down, and at the front was Abby and Kane, waiting to commence with their speeches.

Once everyone has simmered down, Kane awkwardly coughed down the microphone. It was something the remaining engineers and mechanics had made together, wired up with speakers all around the Ark so everyone could hear, even if they weren't in the mess hall, which was highly unlikely because a hell of a lot of people had turned up to witness whatever speech they were about to get.