chapter 17- savannah

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11/1/15
I came home that day in an awful mood. I felt like I had no one left now that sage was gone. I loved him more than anything. The hurt look on his face when he saw the letter still gives me nightmares. He must have been heart broken. And it's already bad enough that  everyone at school hates me and thinks I'm a slut. What's the point of living anymore? I ran myself a bath and while I was waiting for the water to fill up, I looked at myself in the mirror to see blood shot eyes and messy fur. I was a wreck. I then thought of something I never thought I would think of ever again. It was a thought I barryed deep inside my brain that I kept hidden for a while. I opened the bathroom cabinet to see if what I was looking for was still there. And sure enough, it was. It was a blade out of a razor that I used to use back when I was around 13 years old to self harm with. I hadn't cut in years but considering my situation right now, it almost felt like I had to. I grabbed the blade and stared at it. Wondering what I should do. I imagined what it used to feel like when I cut. I imagined the painful yet pleasurable sensation that hit the moment I cut. I imagine the small beads of blood trickling down my arm. The joy of finally letting loose all of my pain in one single piece of medal. Even if it was just for a split second, it was enough. I sat in the bathtub with the blade still in my hands, Still looking at it closely. Was I gonna do it?

Cliff hanger guys!!! Is savvy gonna start cutting again? Sorry for the gruesome chapter. Stay in tune next time my loves byeeee

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