Dangerous Boy

Chapter Twenty-Three

"She hurt you..." I begin. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologise to me." He cups my cheek with his hand. "I didn't think you'd get this upset, I wouldn't have shown you if I thought you would. I was just trying to explain myself to you better. I want you to understand why I'm as fucked up as I am."

"Why do you keep all of this in here?" I ask. Xavier's arms are still wrapped around me.

"I don't know" he answers honestly. "I've always had it, I haven't come down here in a long time. When I was young I would come in here when I was angry and tear the room apart."

"You were with her for an entire year. The things she did to you..."

"Stop Grace, it's okay now. I'm fine now." His hold around me tightens. "Please don't cry over me, it was 12 years ago, I'm fine."

"I thought you got the scars from fighting."

I squeeze him so tightly I don't know how can he can breathe. I somehow hope if I squeeze him tight enough I'll be able to take away all the pain and darkness he's been through. Even though I know nothing can take that away from him.

"Do you remember all of it?" I whisper, its silent for a moment.

"I remember certain things, weird things like it was yesterday. Her voice and her perfume" He pauses. "I think I just shut down after a while, I don't try to remember the rest."

"How did you move on?" I ask. "How can you get over something like this when you're so young?"

"I don't think you ever can" He replies. "You just have to pretend you have, once I was found I just became a loner. I didn't talk to anyone but Noah. I think that's what started to drive my Mum away too. Especially once Steve started coming home drunk as well, she couldn't deal with it. That's when Noah started drinking and I started fighting, we were only kids. Noah pretends like he's not effected by any of it but he is, probably worse than me."

It's all starting to make a little more sense, but I'm equally more confused at the same time.

"You've been through so much"

Xavier holds me tighter against him. "It's okay now though."

"You're not supposed to comfort me" I grip his shirt as he looks down at me in confusion. "I'm supposed to comfort you, tell me to get a grip and stop crying."

He shakes his head, smiling at me.

Why is he smiling at me?

"I don't need comforting." He replies "I'm a man" he lowers his voice to a ridiculous level to prove his point. I can't help but roll my eyes even though there's still tears in them.

"Seriously Grace" He wipes my final tears with a sad smile. "It's in my past now, you're my future."

"You suck at being romantic" I sniff and a small smile forms on his lips. "That was cheesy."

"I'm aloud to be cheesy if I want to be" He kisses my forehead. "Come, let's get out of here."

He locks the door again, staring at it for a few moments before turning away and walking down the hallway with me.