Color Blind

Chapter 2

"That's different."

"How?"

"Well, for one, I wasn't a virgin when I slept with him, so it wasn't as big of a deal. And two, we connected in a way that you and Lucky haven't yet." I groaned and started to disagree. "No, I'm serious Rica. I really trust Lafayette. I feel like he's my soul mate."

"Whatever! I trust Lucky."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Are you afraid to have sex with him?" I looked away. "Then you don't trust him, Rica. You've never trusted anyone to do that with yet, so why him all of a sudden? Don't think that I don't see you two out in the car or over in a corner somewhere arguing about it. I see everything, and you know that. It may not be obvious to everyone else, but I can tell when you're all the way cool with someone and when you're not."

What could I say? She had pulled my card and played me with it. I was speechless. Unfortunately, at the time Lucky and I were at a point in our relationship where if I didn't sleep with him soon, we would definitely have to break up.

On the other hand, I was also afraid that Lucky might actually try to physically hurt me if I broke up with him, because the longer I waited to have sex with him, the more angry and impatient he became. He had never hit me before, but I had seen his temper come out a few times and didn't want to be the one to bring it out again. Once when we were still in middle school, I had even seen him hit his then girlfriend behind the bleachers after a game. Of course I never told my cousin about that, or she would have never agreed to hook us up.

Tia put a hand on my shoulder. The biggest difference between she and I was that I had never seen her cry past elementary school, but I would do it at the drop of a hat. I never boohoo cried, but tears would always well up at the worst times. It was ironic, because I looked like the one who would never cry and she seemed like the sensitive type.

"Hey, I'm not trying to be mean," she said softly. "I just don't think that Lucky is the guy for you to give it up to. Especially not your first time." I looked at her and wiped at my eyes, feeling stupid. "For real, Rica. The only reason I hooked you two up in the first place was because you liked him so much and you hadn't been out on a date in so long." She elbowed me playfully. "I just figured what the hell? But to be honest with you, I don't even trust him, so I know you don't. He's cute and all, and he is the best player on the team...but he ain't all that."

I sighed. What she said made perfect sense. I would still have to think about it some more, but I knew that the hardest thing now would be to figure out how and when to break up with Lucky. I was getting a headache just thinking about how difficult this was going to be. He had never seemed like a "go quietly" kind of guy.

"Hey, you're not mad at me are you?" I shook my head no. "Better not be." Tia giggled and nudged me again. "I'm sorry I made you cry, cuz," then she gave me a big hug.

"Please, Tia. You could never make me cry." We both laughed, knowing that when we were little, she used to make me cry all the time. Then I, in turn, would promptly kick her butt.

For the next few weeks, Lucky didn't try to do anything with me. He barely even wanted to kiss. When I asked him what was wrong, he would just smirk and shake his head. After a few weeks of this, all of the tension finally came to a head between us. We started arguing all the time, and Tia had to actually kick him out of one of her house parties because she thought he was about to hit me. I knew he wasn't, but she hated when a man even looked like he was about to hit a woman.

Enraged, Lucky spun around after Tia pulled him away from me and cussed her out. When he grabbed her by the arm and shook her, though, I went to go find Lafayette.