Rooted Change [BoyxBoy]

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

        Ryker wasn't able to sleep all night, no matter how hard he willed himself to. Seth's words had long since vanished from his mind, being replaced by what he planned to do for Joshua, his nerves never calming in the slightest. He felt uncomfortable just thinking about touching someone like that, but he felt like it was the only way he would be able to show just how much he appreciated his boyfriend, and that alone was what continuously stopped him from backing out. Joshua deserved to have everything he wanted.

        After their sleepy talk yesterday, Ryker had laid Joshua down on the bed, taking off his jeans and top since he always used to complain about how uncomfortable it made him feel. He was perfectly fine sleeping in the lingerie he refused to take off, though; the burgundy lace coming into view as the last article of clothing was removed from his body. The moonlight from the window had lit his skin just right that Ryker had to cover him with the sheet as soon as he was done undressing him; not wanting his own body to react as he knew it always came with those uncomfortable feelings. No matter how much he wanted to be with his boyfriend in that intimate way only he was allowed, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

        That is, until now.

        Ryker glanced to his right, taking in the sight of his boyfriend's exposed back and neck. Sunlight had begun pouring into the room hours ago, about the same time Joshua had woken up in order to seek out pills and water for his raging headache. It had only lasted a few minutes before he was out like a light once again, his body curling up next to Ryker's as he thought his boyfriend was asleep. He had not woken up since and Ryker was grateful for that – it gave him plenty of time to think.

        Moving closer to Joshua, Ryker's back pressed against his boyfriend's as he tangled their legs together. It was the perfect way to make sure the smaller boy didn't squirm around too much and in turn slightly put Ryker's mind at ease. That ounce of power couldn't stop his hand from shaking, though, as he reached around the other's body and lightly held his naked torso, their skin meeting even more. The feeling he usually got in the pit of stomach came back but this time he chose to ignore it, willing himself to carry on for his own reasons.

        His breath ghosted over Joshua's neck as he bought his face closer, the tickling sensation causing the younger boy to stir slightly. Despite never touching him in this way, Ryker knew the entirety of his neck was the most sensitive part of his body and would ultimately be the fastest and most pleasurable way to wake his boy up. And so, his lips touched the skin of his neck for the first time in the year he had known him, light touches being pressed all over the sensitive area.

        It took a few minutes before Ryker felt like he could carry on, this time sucking on the skin between his lips before nipping at it lightly, faint red marks being left as he moved onto a new patch of skin. He tried not to look at the marks and instead focused on how Joshua's hips had started swaying back and forth as his mind slowly registered the pleasure he was feeling.

        'R-Ryker?' he groaned softly, his brain still clouded by sleep despite lust attempting to take over. There was confusion there, too. Why was Ryker doing this?

        Joshua couldn't bring himself to care as he melted back against his boyfriend, his hips nudging into Ryker's stomach with the way they were laying. The stimulation his neck was receiving made it increasingly harder for the thong he was wearing to contain him, and he knew very soon it wouldn't be able to. He just felt too good.

        Ryker bought his hand up to slowly stroke down Joshua's chest, his soft skin warming at his touch. The excessive shaking of his hand was not something he was able to stop as he did so, though, and it seemed to be the only thing able to register in Joshua's cloudy mind.

        'S-stop,' the smaller boy stuttered out, attempting to turn around towards his boyfriend to see if he was okay, not being used to the way he was acting. But Ryker wouldn't let go off him, and the closer his hand got to the lace covering Joshua's crotch the more worried he got. He just wouldn't stop shaking. 'Ryker, stop,' he stated more firmly, his own hand reaching down to stop the other's from its downward path. He clutched their entwined fingers to his chest, willing his body to calm down.

        Being stopped seemed to pull Ryker from the trance he was in. He pulled away from Joshua completely, backing away to the other side of the room until his back hit the wall, his knees crumbling beneath him from the weight of his troubles. The expression on his face was enough for anyone to see how tortured he was in that moment; it was enough to cause anyone's heart to ache just from looking at him. Joshua was no expression.

        'I'm so sorry,' he whispered, his eyes appearing unfocused as he clutched his knees tighter to his chest. Joshua was making his way towards him after pulling on some clothes but Ryker didn't seem to notice, his eyes gleaming with tears. He looked so utterly lost in that moment and it was nothing like Joshua had ever seen before.

        'Shh, it's okay, baby,' Joshua cooed, sitting down beside him and wrapping his arms around the older man. All he could think to do right then was try and calm his boyfriend down using the only comfort he could provide. 'You don't need to apologise, you did nothing wrong.'

        But his words only succeeded in opening up a flood of memories Ryker had tried to suppress for so many years, the pain he felt echoing through the fall of his tears and the cries torn from his lips. The tortured sounds rang through their bedroom and imprinted themselves into Joshua's mind, his heart clenching painfully as every breath he drew was harder than the last. His love was suffering over something he had no knowledge about and yet the only thing he was able to do was tighten his arms around him in the hope that he would stop soon.

        But he didn't stop.

        His cries echoed off the walls for hours.