Of Demons and Angels [ON HOLD]

Chapter 8

Clary POV

Maryse leads me to another room where two Silent Brothers wait for me. Hello Clarissa Moregenstern. I am Brother Zachariah, and this is Brother Enoch. Are you ready to begin? The Silent Brother 'says' before motioning to the bed.

"I'm guessing even if I say no, we'll still have to do this," I say as I take a step closer to them.

Lay on the bed and we may begin Brother Enoch instructs.

I walk over to the bed and lay down, just as the Brother Enoch told me to. The Silent Brothers walk to opposite sides of the bed and join one hand over me and each rest their free hand on one of my temples. Close your eyes, Clarissa Morgenstern. And bring us through your mind.

My eyes flutter closed, but when I open them again I'm not in the bedroom in the Institute, but a long hallway with door after door after door. At the very end of the hallway is a single blood red door. I start on my way down the corridor and open one of the first door on the left. A bright light flashes before I see an image--more like a memory--of a young girl with hair as red as fire.

"C'mon Jonathan! Let's go exploring," I giggle as Jonathan and I run towards the woods by the old manor house. Daddy is in a meeting with some of his--what did Daddy call them? His goons? Whatever he calls them, he's meeting with them so Jonny and I have a while to ourselves and we've never really been in these woods before.

"Wait up Clarissa!" Jon calls as he runs to catch up with me. Never doubt a six year old's want for adventure.

"Hurry up! What are you? 80?" I tease knowing it will make him go quicker.

I can hear him laugh behind me. "Oh, it is on, Clary."

We both take off sprinting into the woods, racing to who knows where. I reach out as I run to touch the different plants that I've never seen before. Daddy doesn't let us go outside much. He says it's for our safety, how we need to know how to stay responsible and hidden. I hope he's not gonna be mad at us for leaving without permission...

Somewhere along the way, Jonathan and I stop under a big tree. We climb and joke around and play a lot of mini games under the tree. We're half way up a tree when we hear Daddy calling our names.

"We should go find him," Jonathan says and I nod as we start to climb down. We follow the sound of his voice until Daddy comes into view.

"There you both are. What have I told you about running off without telling me first?" he scolds before he gathers us into his arms for a light hug.

"We're sorry Daddy," I apologize. "We were curious and wanted to explore."

He pulls away from the hug and looks at both of our faces. "These woods are dangerous. Something very bad could have happened if you were out here later at night." He stands and extends his hand to me. "Let's go back home."

I close the door as I walk down the corridor more. The sounds of my memories are faintly heard as I walk by the doors. Curiosity gets the better of me and I stop at another door to open it. Another bright light flashes before I see another, older version of the red haired girl.

I sit on my bed in my red ceremonial clothes, fiddling with my fingers. Dad is downstairs preparing for my first rune ceremony. He's going to be doing it instead of a Silent Brother for obvious reasons. I don't know why, but I'm really nervous about getting my first rune.

What if I'm not strong enough? What if my blood makes everything go wrong?

A knock comes at my door and I look up to see Jonathan. "Hey Jon," I say simply before I go back to messing with my fingers.

He walks over and sits next to me on my bed. "What's up? Are you nervous about the ceremony?" I only nod and he puts a comforting arm around my shoulder. "Don't be nervous Clary. I was worried too, but you have nothing to worry about."

"What if my blood messes everything up? What if something happens that I can't control?" I ask looking over to him, keeping the tears from falling.

"Hey, I was fine and I have more demon blood in my system than you do. It will hurt a little more, but after that it will feel like nothing." He stands up and reaches for my hand. "Now let's go and rock this ceremony."

Smiling, I take his hand and stand up. "Thanks Jonathan."

I quickly close the door. That memory have away information about the demon blood in me. That could give away so much. Why was that memory not blocked?

I walk down the corridor more, pausing only to open a few doors. The memories are familiar to me. My first demon, the first time Jonathan and I snuck away to Germany for my birthday, and even the water balloon fight I started with Jonathan during training one day.

All that's left is the blood red door at the end. Without knowing what's behind it, I can tell behind it is all of my blocked memories. I also know that I'm not getting out of here until I try to open that door.

I reach for the doorknob and grip the cold metal. I twist the doorknob and try to open the door, but I can't get it open. I continue to pull at the door, but as I try the hallway behind me begins to collapse into a black oblivion, coming directly towards me.

I yank at the door more and more trying to get it open, but a sharp pain appears in my temple. I continue to pull at the door until the floor below me collapses. I gasp as I fall and then--

My eyes burst open and I sit straight up. As my hearing tunes, I hear Maryse telling them that they went too far.

Without being excused, I get off the bed and rush to my room. No matter what I do, I can't get this panicky feeling away from me and I can't get my breathing to go down. I really hope I'm not having another one of those panic attacks because my last one put me in a mini coma.

Going around the room I grab the first thing I can find, a small wooden chest, and throttle it across the room. I continue to grab different things and throw them around the room.

When I finish, I still feel panicky. My back hits the wall and I slowly slide down it until my knees are right in my face. In trying to control my breathing, I don't even notice Jace come into my room.

"I heard you during your session and I--Clary, what's wrong?" he asks as he kneels in front of me.

"I-I can't-I can't do it. I just can't," I mumble to myself as tears fill my eyes.

Jace grips my hands and looks into my eyes. "What can't you do Clary? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and mumble, "What is happening to me?"

After that Jace just sits next to me and holds me while I have my mini mental breakdown. Once it's done, we just sit there in comfortable silence. Then, I think of what he said to me when he came in.

"Jace? You said you heard me during my session. How exactly did you hear me?"

He looks at me guiltily. "I think the entire Institute heard to be honest."

"What exactly did they hear?"

"Screaming--your screaming."