Lost Without You

Chapter 19

After rehearsal I say goodbye to Alex and Rob, and Jim, Dylan, Jeff, and I head over to Lauren's apartment. Even if we make up I don't want to live with her anymore, so I guess I have to pack up all my stuff.

We walk into my old room and I say, "There should be some boxes in the guest room. Dylan and Jim, do you think you can get them while Jeff and I start to pack?"

Dylan says, "Sure," and walks out of the room with Jim.

"So this is your room. It looks different than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I just didn't think your room would be this plain."

"Yeah well remember, I've only been living here for a few months."

"Right, right. So where should we start?"

"Can you do the clothes in the dresser while I do the ones in the closet? Just put them in piles on the bed and we'll put them in boxes when Dylan and Jim get back."

"Sure," he says as I connect my phone to a speaker and put turn on an iTunes radio station. Dylan and Jim come back into the room and begin putting the piles Jeff and I had put on the bed into boxes. With the four of us working together, we quickly packed up all of my stuff. Well also most of it wasn't unpacked in the first place.

"Okay so now we bring everything to the car," I say as I grab a box. It takes us about half an hour to squish it all into Jeff's car. I get into the back seat next to Jim and close my eyes for just a minute.

Suddenly I feel weightless. And then I feel weight again. I open my eyes and I'm on the living room couch. "Oh good she's up," I hear Dylan say.

"Hey guys, what happened?"

"You fell asleep in the car."

"Oh yeah, I guess I'm kinda tired. What time is it?"

"It's 5:30."

"Thanks Dyl."

Jeff walks into the room, kisses me, and says, "good you're awake, now we can make a plan."

"A plan for what?"

"To get you and Lauren to be friends again."

"I don't know Jeff."

"Come on Ally, you promised," he says while making a 'puppy dog' face.

"Fineee."

"I was thinking we could give Lauren a pet squirrel. I mean I would definitely want to be friends with someone if they gave me a pet squirrel," says Jim.

I hold myself back from laughing and say, "Jim I'm not sure if that would work."

"Why not?" he replies.

I don't want to be mean so I say, "ohh well umm I don't think Lauren likes squirrels."

"Aww well I'm out of ideas."

"We could use Walker," Dylan says.

"That's a good idea," Jeff says.

"Yeah, I don't think he gave me any dirty looks today so maybe he's not really mad at me."

"I know he wanted to move in with Lauren a lot earlier than they are so maybe he understands what you guys are doing?" Dylan suggests.

"Okay so this is great that Walker will probably help us but how would he help us?" I ask.

"I'm not sure, let's call him," Jeff says.

I reply, "But what if he's with Lauren?"

"That's a risk we're going to have to take," Jeff says as he dials Walker's number. He puts the phone on speaker and it rings a few times. "Hey Joe, it's Jeff, Ally, Dylan, and Jim. We were wondering if you could help us."

"What do you guys need help with?"

"I'm sure you know about the fight Lauren and I are having," I say.

"Yeah," he responds, "Lauren is being really illogical about the whole thing, I don't know what's gotten into her."

"Well we wanted to see if you could help us make up."

"Of course. I actually wanted to reach out to you, Ally. Yes Lauren is acting mean but I can tell that she misses you. I actually came up with a plan."

"What is it?" Jeff asks.

Walker tells us his plan and we all agree. I will start my part in a half hour.

*30 minutes later*

Hand-in-hand, Jeff and I walk into Panera and I quickly spot Walker and Lauren's table. We walk over and sit down at the two empty seats and Lauren says, "what the hell are they doing here?"

"I invited them," Walker replies.

"What the hell Joe."

"Lauren this has gone on for too long. You and Ally need to talk."

"I told you I don't want to talk to her."

"Please Lauren, just hear me out," I say.

"I don't have to take this. I can just get up and leave."

"No you can't," Jeff adds.

"Umm yes I can."

"No Lauren, you can't. Because knowing you you're going to have to leave dramatically but you can't cause a scene here."

"Ugh why do you always have to be right?" Lauren says as Walker and Jeff get up and walk outside.

"Good luck," Jeff says while walking away.

"I still don't think you should move in with him."

"Why not Lauren? You said it's because it's too early but I know it has to be more than that."

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Lauren, just tell me."

"Fine, Jade moved in with Jeff too early and look what happened to her. She was the closest friend I had while you were off touring the country and she left me. First to move in with him and then she left for New York. I don't want you to leave me."

"Lo I'm not going to leave you."

"How can I be sure?"

"Because we've been friends for like twenty years," I take a deep breath and continue, "look, if it stops you from hating me, then I won't move in with Jeff. But you have to understand that I love him, and when I'm with him, I'm happier than I've ever been."

"I never hated you. I want to make that clear right now. Maybe I convinced myself that I did, just to cover up the pain. You gave to realize that I covered up blaming myself by blaming you. When Jade moved in with Jeff I stopped trying for our friendship and then blamed it on her. I don't want to do the same thing with you so I thought that if we still lived together or if you lived with another one of the girls, then we would still be friends. I was just so frustrated that my stupid insecurity had covered everything you were saying and in my eyes, I was the victim."

"Lauren I'm sorry. The only thing I can do is promise that we will still be friends. How about this, we will plan that every Wednesday we will get lunch together, here at Panera, so you know that you will see me at least once a week."

"That works for me. I'm really sorry I was mean to you. I just didn't want to lose you."

"I understand Lauren, but next time please just talk it out with me at first."

"Of course," she replies and we both smile.