My Poems

Bruised

It has been years,
The torment I felt still fresh,
The tears still falling,
My soul still bruised and battered,
My brain and soul aggressive,
My childhood torn,
Four years I would walk the woods,
So alone,
I didn't have anyone,
My grandparents busy,
My dad at work,
My mom three hours away,
My brother to young to understand,
And everyone who could care too far away to reach me,
Every word they said was another piece of steel thrown at me,
I was so afraid of everyone,
And yet I was so angry at them,
The playground so full of kids was empty to me,
The school halls quiet and violent,
I was only seven when I felt the first blows of the steel,
I would cry,
They said I was fat,
That I was ugly,
And I was,
My stomach made me look pregnant,
And my looks didn't help,
The pills I took made me eat dish after dish,
I ate at least four plates a meal,
I was heavy yet I could walk right behind a dear and it wouldn't even notice me,
My grades were at there bests,
F's,
My parents when I was young divorced,
My pain a haze,
I came to that school,
And I received no friendship,
I received no understanding,
At night,
I found the only way to sleep was to cry and cry till my own tears drowned my cries and emptied my brain,

There was one group that was the worst,
They beat me,
They beat me with words I didn't understand,
And words that made me feel like dirt the worms created,
Their words were like punches and kicks,
I would always receive and I would always fight back,
I grew used to it,
And in the beginning my family saw me as fine,
It was until later,
my loved ones started to all think that I was becoming a trouble maker,
I hid my pain,
I hid the truth,
And today they still don't know.

Today I picked up that steel,
I held onto it,
Till one day my anger burned it into my soul,
Strengthening and hard,
I'm so strong, tall, brave, smart, and that weight gave me heighth,
It gave me energy to build muscle,
And soon my looks changed to cute,
And now,
I'm still growing,
Becoming better than what they said,